Young Americans

Episode Report Card
admin: D | Grade It Now!
Ryders On The Storm

Okay, I don't know how to put this, but this episode of Young Americans is kinda...well, good. I guess if "good" means "didn't suck ass like all of the others."

Previously on Young Americans: Strap on your way-back machines, kids, because we're flashing back to the first episode. Terri kisses Verve. She apologizes. Hurry-Up Machine to the second episode, when Verve says that he could have punched her for kissing him, but he didn't, but she'd better not think about kissing him again. Jump way forward to Verve busting into the boys' bathroom in episode three to kiss Terri again. She tells him she's a girl. Boom! She's in the stall flashing her 34Bs. Now she's in a pink dress and he's kissing her. Whiplash! Whiplash! BadDad and Mamawhore are dropping Will off for his first day of Rawley. Screech all the way forward to the last episode where Will gives Daddy Monologue II: Schmaltzy Boogaloo to Bella. Wham! Mamawhore tells Will that BadDad is jealous of him. Will yells. Ow! Ow! Head reeling! First episode again, where Bella's First Dad is telling Scout that his dad is Bella's dad, even though he himself won't be Bella's dad in the last episode. Zoom! Bella hands the cell phone to Scout and tells him that their dad is on the phone. Jump to the Truck of Constant Repair, where Scout tells Bella she should meet their dad, but she thinks he might not want to meet her. Snip! Senator MakesMeGiggle is announcing that there's a "crazy girl running around town" telling everyone that he's her father. Flash! Bella asks Scout if they are going to tell his dad together, and Scout tells her that it's not a good time. Bella stands in the blue light in her blue dress and cries.

Welcome to Young Americans. Clearly, those past five episodes were completely unnecessary.

A red Corvette zooms out of a lot. The seating arrangements are straight out of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Sloan and Ferris are in the front seat, while Cameron is propped up with his arms over the back of the car. The car races down a windy road while the stunt driver in an almost silver wig does his best Bella impersonation. The car is suddenly stopped. The camera zooms up to Bella, who has her head in her hands and she's mumbling through her fingers, "I just stole a Corvette. I just stole a Corvette. I just stole a Corvette!" Will puts his hand out and says, "Just, just --" "Hold it!" The screen freezes, and Bella is doing us the honor of a voice-over. "This isn't what it looks like. Let's go back to the beginning." The screen goes to black and a title reads "12 Hours Earlier."

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Young Americans




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