Sookie stakes Coroner Mike Spencer, who has just become a vampire, because the Authority has instituted a new policy calling for thirty new vampires in every Area. Jason finds a scroll under her bed that is not in a known language, so they take it to the fae, where we learn that it's a magical contract promising Sookie to that ghost-head that yells at her in the bathroom? So I guess she's getting ghost-married now.
Bill kills Molly in some kind of loyalty move, and then doses Eric and Nora with more Lilith blood so that they can hallucinate Godric being killed by Lilith. Does any of that make sense? No it does not. But Eric's now apparently part of the Sanguinistas (he is fooling!) -- and a weird détente with Russell doesn't make his position any less scary than it was last week. Northman's going through a lot, is what I'm saying.
Russell and Newlin eat an entire frat house, pledge some kind of love for each other, and eventually go cray-cray in separate ways: Steve verbally abusing Emma for assuming her human shape, while Russell's declaring war on the Boys and maybe even the Authority itself, if it ends up standing between him and delicious faerie blood. (He also comes up with the excellent plan of synthesizing it, now that all the TruBlood factories are gone.)
Pam and Tara contemplate their various orders from Sheriff Elijah, but when it comes down to possibly getting split up, Tara unceremoniously takes him out. It's really sweet, actually. Fangtasia!, as well as Merlotte's, are pretty much empty at this point, so there's a real loneliness to almost everything going on.
Sam and Luna smuggle themselves into the Authority, where they're eventually joined by Jessica, who is finding her new cult-flavored daddy pretty tough to deal with. Which brings us to the absolutely sublime climax of the episode -- one of the best scenes ever on the show -- in which, at Hoyt's request, Jessica glamours him to forget both her and Jason forever, and leave Bon Temps. While she's interrupted in her post-farewell breakdown, Jason gets the rest of the episode to freak out and cry about ol' Bubba. And I'd be lying if I said the six people in my living room weren't right there with him.
Two episodes left: A war in earnest, faeries on the table and the Authority in lockdown.
Eric's overly high expectations of Bill Compton continued biting him in the ass, as Bill sold out both Godric's kids and Molly in the mix. Jason and Sookie are on the fairy case to find the mysterious Warlow, the vampire that killed their parents; Jason and Jess have just about ruined Hoyt forever. Sookie and Sam managed to take down the Obamas with some help from Andy Bellefleur, Steve and Russell persist in bothering the Shreveport wolves with their Nazi drug cult nonsense, and have taken Emma as their little gay baby, while a grody new Sherriff has taken over Area V and Fangtasia! itself.
In one of the best openings of an episode ever, Sookie chows down on some Chinese while watching Steve Newlin do his day job as the new Nan Flanagan, talking about how the TruBlood factory explosions have increased vampire attacks by 50 percent. She's yelling at the screen when there's a knock at the door: Coroner Mike Spencer, reintroduced over the past few weeks as a possible red herring for the Dragon, turns out to be a whole other kind of thing. She invites him in, he pops fang and tries to eat her, and eventually she stakes him with a chopstick, and it's amazing. I don't even know what to say, beyond the fact that this show is rarely very scary -- and that was quite scary. In the end, she's left sitting in puddle of Mike goo, takeout ruined, just kind of chilling in the ongoing wet mess that is the three-way war between people, vampires and fae.
Authorities: "Molly! Thanks for inventing the iStake we have put on you since you're the only person in this whole building with your shit together at all."
Molly: (Is total Tank Girl for the few minutes they let her live, trying to explain that they are all insane drug addicts now and that evolution is not compatible with fundamentalism, because they are retrograde creepazoids. Then she explodes.)
Newlin: "OMFG! I've never actually seen a vampire get staked before, that was awesome!"
Salome: "First of all, bullshit. You were the leader of a vamp-staking megachurch. This wide-eyed innocent routine only serves the single purpose of making your relationship with Russell even more problematic and retrograde."
Russell: "Steve, do you want to go on a date right now?"
Authorities: "He can't, he has homework for tomorrow. Nan Flanagan stuff."
Russell: "No, we're going out. I feel like Greek. Have fun dealing with Eric, though."