The Office

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We open with Pam telling us that Michael likes to watch movies in pieces. Right now, he's working his way through The Devil Wears Prada, and is identifying perhaps a little too much with Miranda Priestly. Michael tries to play out a few moments from the movie with his own intractable assistant, and finally enters the office one morning, quiet and subdued, saying he owes Pam an apology. Pam guesses that he finally made it to the end of the movie, and Michael tells her (and the camera) that, in a shocking twist ending, Miranda turned out to be the villain. He didn't get a hint from her hairstyle? Anyway, he tells Pam, "I just want what's best for you and Manushka." Michael moves on, and in an interview, Pam gets the (mangled) reference: "He's watching Million Dollar Baby." Beat. "He's gonna try to kill me." Nah, he's just going to be very offended on your behalf that Paul Haggis stole your aunt's story for his crappy movie.

After the credits, Jan has crammed her giant fake boobs into a velour tracksuit and hauled the whole mess down to the office to show Michael some fabric samples; seems she's doing some redecorating. Michael is straining to keep everything on the cheap, and when she mentions getting a sofa in leather, Michael protests that they already have one. Jan tightly corrects him that they have a futon. Oh sweet jesus. Michael's in his forties and still rocking a futon? He's lucky Jan ever set foot in his bachelor warren. In an interview, Michael admits that money has been tight, but then rambles on about how money isn't important, though he plans to have enough at the end of his life for a yacht, like we haven't already screwed over the oceans enough without moving Michael Scott into them. Back in his conversation with Jan, they're moving on to tile when Ryan calls. Michael puts him on speakerphone, Jan seething all the while, as Ryan reminds Michael that he's supposed to give a presentation on PowerPoint to the Scranton staff. And is this presentation to unspool via...PowerPoint? OR DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND?

Bullpen. Jim's on hold when Dwight gets a call. Suddenly nervous, Dwight puts the caller on hold, opens up a battered folder, and picks up again with a little folksy German, informing his caller all about the accommodations at Schrute Farms. Jim watches, fascinated, as Dwight coos to his caller that they don't have King or Queen beds, because they make their own, which don't conform to standard sizes, though Twin would be the closest approximation. Having heard enough to know he needs to get in on this action, Jim hangs up his own call and waits for Dwight to ring off with his obviously disappointed inquisitor. Dwight tries to ignore Jim, and denies both to Jim and to the camera that he's not running a B&B; it's "agritourism." With a bed. And breakfast. I think technically he can claim he isn't running a B&B if the establishment has neither an annoying old lady who's all up in your business, or at least four cats. Anyway, Dwight immediately gets another call, and can hear Pam from her desk as she asks about a room. He pissily tells her that this is an abuse of company property, but she soldiers on, telling him that she read on TripAdvisor that Schrute Farms caters to the elderly. This segues to another interviewmercial in which Dwight stresses the importance of good notices on TripAdvisor. It's not as gross as the Travelocity product placement in the Scrubs season finale, but it's not many rungs above it. Back in the bullpen, Dwight decides to book Pam a room after all. She seems especially excited about Mose's tablemaking demonstration. PLEASE let it involve them making their own miniature table to bring home as a souvenir!

Later, Jan packs up her samples and takes off, telling Michael she needs the car that night. Michael says he needs it, but Jan assumes he's going to his improv class and blows him off. Michael then sadly interviews that they used to have two cars but are now down to one, which is more economical, except that the one car they ended up with is a Porsche, for Jan. I'm sure she lets him ride in it sometimes as long as his shoes and hands are clean.

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The Office




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