Trading Spaces
Scottsdale: Bell Road

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Scottsdale: Bell Road

MPDP appears in front of a big cactus wearing jeans (which, according to an article that appeared in the Arizona Tribune, she is in the habit of spraying periodically with water to make sure they remain form-fitting) and a red t-shirt with a very busy heart appliqué on it. Then we see Frank, Vern, and Ty hiking through some rocky terrain. Back to MPDP, who gingerly puts her finger on a cactus while rambling about whether time and budget will be "sticking points" during this episode. She gives a wee yelp and informs us that it's sharp. Don't say Trading Spaces never learned ya nothin'.

Triathletes Tom and Kari are shown running. Their daughter Ryanne, who is nine, wants a more mature room. Ryanne has a very, very girlish room with white walls, beige carpet, and concentrated areas of display/clutter, mostly featuring her extensive doll collection. She's got a feminine white metal daybed with a colourful patchwork coverlet, and a simple wooden chest of drawers. The ceiling is vaulted and the closet has mirrored sliding doors. The window is rectangular with a small fanlight over the middle section. It's covered with white shutters. Ryanne's parents say she wants more of a teenager's room. Kari says Ryanne wants purple walls and bean bag chairs, and isn't sure if she wants dolls on the walls anymore. Kari says she still thinks of Ryanne as her baby and doesn't want anything "goth-y or dark or scary." Well, I don't see Hildi anywhere, so you're probably okay on the "goth-y" and "dark" fronts. But Frank's here, so you're on your own with "scary." How do you feel about...say...monkeys? Kari says that Frank does really great children's rooms, so she's not too worried, and that she can't imagine Ryanne being upset at the reveal. I'm beginning to suspect that the fundamental problem with this show is that if homeowners don't have enough imagination to figure out what to do with their rooms on their own, they also lack the imagination to figure out just how wrong things can go. As we have seen, repeatedly.

We see newlyweds Dana and Chris with their two birds. One bird gives a wolf whistle. MPDP says they want to change their "run-of-the-mill mauve bedroom" into a love nest. Their room is basically identical to Ryanne's, except one wall is painted a muddy purplish taupe colour. I sure wouldn't call that mauve. They have white tab curtains on the window, which look pretty bad, partly because the length is all wrong. There's a mattress on the floor, with two small night tables in light-coloured wood on either side. There is a small traditional-style side table beside each night table; one holds the bird cage. Dana says they just got married and have been trying to add some feminine touches to the house. She looks fondly at the back of Chris's head. Chris -- who reminds me vaguely of a Matthew McConaughey, except with a lot less hair -- stares blankly ahead. I can't tell if he's just incredibly bored, daydreaming about Kate Hudson, or what. I do know that he demonstrates no concern whatsoever that there's a camera on him. He definitely radiates that "this was not my idea" energy so often emanating from male homeowners on this show. Chris says that the room is too blank and too boring and needs some colour. Dana says they're tired of sleeping on the floor. Chris clarifies that they don't sleep on the floor, they sleep on a mattress that's on the floor. Yeah, we got that, what with the shots of the mattress on the floor and all. He'd like a bedframe. Dana helpfully mentions that it's their bedroom. With this couple's assistance I think I can eventually grasp what this makeover's all about. I think it's a bedroom. Dana mentions that they're newlyweds, so they want something sexy. Whenever couples mention that they're just married and want a romantic and sexy bedroom on this show, I can't help thinking, "Already you need help?" I expect that from couples married ten or fifteen years or more, but seriously. She adds, "We want it to be kind of a couth [sic] Kama Sutra environment up here." Um, sure. That sounds like a room Gen would want to do. Chris's face doesn't really react to any of this, but he says he likes the sound of that. He says they want to avoid stripes and florals, and they want something between masculine and feminine. Dana points out they have no light or ceiling fan. Shot of wires hanging out of ceiling. She's hoping they might get a ceiling fan. Chris says it doesn't have to be a fan; it can just be a cool fixture. They bicker for a bit about whether or not it should be a fan. Somewhere, two birds are rolling their eyes.

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Trading Spaces

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