Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 3 USERS: A+
I Shot You To Protect You

Cut to the Sheriff's Office. Elena runs into Damon, who is just leaving. He tells her Ric is fine, but Liz has ordered him to stay away from the case. Elena can't believe he's going to. He suggests he could rip out "Dr. False Accusations'" throat.

Damon: Don't forget, I also suggest ripping out her tongue. I could chew it up in little tiny pieces and feed it to the squirrels. I make Hannibal Lecter-ish chewy noises. Elena is not amused. I then remind her I saved her life last night. You're welcome.

Elena: How about some compassion for Bonnie?

Damon: Should I send lasagna?

Elena: Meanie!

Damon: I'm mean. You hate me. The earth is back on its axis.

Elena: You know, if you keep pushing people away, you're going to end up alone.

Damon's Eyes: Damn, I hate it when she's right.

Damon: I return to Mossy Manse to find Stefan incessantly tapping his ring against his desk while reading his journal. I know he's hurting, so I, of course, mock him. Dear Diary, a chipmunk asked me my name today. I told him it was Joe. That lie will haunt me... forever.

Stefan: What do you want?

Damon: How about a little brotherly bonding/wonder twin activating and an investigation into the serial killer case in this town. Remember when we came back for Zachariah's funeral? I'm pretty sure someone was offing council members then, too.

Stefan: 1912.

Damon: Or as I like to call it: the last time Mystic Falls had a serial killer on its hands.

Recapper: You mean besides you two, Katherine, the Originals, Klaus's hybrid army, the tomb vamps and the werewolves?

Stefan: See you mock my journaling, but now it's coming in handy. It's going to segue us into this sepia-toned flashback.

We get a Stefan DIARY-Ahhh voiceover, concerning his trepidation at returning to Mystic Falls for Zachariah's funeral. At the cemetery, Stefan -- who is on the bunny diet -- chats up Mariana Lockwood and Samantha Gilbert.

Stefan: As in Johnathan (sic) Gilbert?

Samantha: My late grandfather. Did you know him?

>Stefan: Of course. I look 17, but I'm totally 65.

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Vampire Diaries




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