In Scranton, the employees are still trying to get some work done while Brandon is confronting Darryl over a text Darryl sent Val at midnight. Kelly decides that they all need to hear the text, and now that something interesting is happening there for once in her life, she's no longer bored enough to scream. Or even go home. Not for anything in the world would she go home now.
Kathy's putting lotion on her legs when Jim rapidly gets up to answer a knock at the door. It's Stanley, come to raid Jim's minibar for rum, but he leers a hello at the half-dressed temp stretched out on Jim's bed. Stanley not only doesn't stay when Jim invites him to, he warns, "Careful, Jim, it gets easier and easier." Oh, man.
Ryan leads Erin into the hotel kitchen, and when they hear a noise, they dive under the counter so nobody sees them. "Do you want us to get scolded?" Ryan hisses. "Shut your beautiful, beautiful mouth." It's not clear where the camera crew is hiding, but they're obviously invisible as well.
In the Scranton conference room, Darryl reads aloud the texts in question: "I got too much ice cream. You want some?" "Getting my fry on." "The moon is huge tonight." But the killer is. "You're such a great friend....." The 1.4 ellipses are included in the message. Kelly, with her long experience of parsing Ryan's signals, is shocked that Darryl would be so indiscreet with his dots. Val says the idea of her and Darryl is ridiculous. "I'm stranded on Shutter Island over here," Darryl pretends to agree. Has everyone forgotten that Darryl and Kelly dated, for like a week?
Dwight tries again to interrupt Nellie and Packer's flirting, only to pick up a call from Jim, reporting that he saw a bedbug in his room. Which is sort of true. Dwight rushes off to take care of it, but first he orders Gabe to make sure Nellie doesn't sleep with Packer, demanding, "You really want Packer as your boss?" Even Gabe isn't enough of a weirdo to have that as a goal. On his way up, Dwight says he can't risk bringing any bedbugs back to Schrute Farms. "Our biggest attraction is our 200-year-old mattresses." Upstairs, Jim eagerly admits Dwight, who immediately strips the bed (with Kathy still on it, mind you), makes Jim describe the bug (which Jim does, with relish), and announces that he's going to turn himself into a human bedbug trap. He'll do this by getting heated up, undressed, and all covered up in Jim's blankets. Which he does forthwith. Kathy's so grossed out she goes to take a shower. "All right, catch you later!" Jim chirps. He thinks his problem is solved now that he's gotten rid of Kathy, but now he's got Dwight in his bed instead of Kathy on it. Worse: the shower Kathy is using is Jim's.