Vampire Diaries
American Gothic

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In Which Everyone's Pretty And Nothing Hurts

Poor Rebekah, she hates to cooperate, and I don't blame her, but Stefan does have a point. Exasperated, she sighs and says, "Fine. They were supposed to meet at the gazebo by the park." When Stefan says he'll go talk to Elijah, Rebekah says Katherine will take her and Damon to the cure. Katherine says, "No, she won't. The cure is my one chance to win my freedom back from Klaus." Damon scoffs at the idea of Katherine brokering a deal with Klaus. It's Stefan's turn to wear the thinking cap, so he sets big brother straight. "No, she's gonna get Elijah to broker the deal for her. That's why you need your little friend, isn't it? Some things never change, Katherine." Damon adds an amused, "Nope." Resigned, Katherine tells Rebekah to move. "You have to follow me." We cut to...

Klaus Haus. Caroline is digging and digging and digging in his back, when she says, "Oh my God. You do have a heart." I think. The sound effects are so grotesque, it's hard to hear the dialogue over my protracted gags. When she digs the clippers in a little, Klaus cries out. Caroline says, "Oh, my bad. It's just a bloody rib." They bicker a little. Caroline swears there's nothing in him. Klaus thinks she's being to dainty about getting her hands dirty, and brings up the witch slaughter, because he has all the people skills of dirty bomb.

The whole thing is so gross that I really have to gloss over it. At some point, Klaus has a temper tantrum. Caroline apologizes at first, but then thinks better of it. With great force, she rips the clippers from his back and says, "You know what, I'm not sorry. You deserve to suffer for everything that you've done, so today, we're gonna do things my way. You want my help? You let Tyler come back to town and give me your word that you will not hurt him." We cut to...

Willoughby. Gazebo. Using Katherine's phone, Stefan calls Elijah, who is watching from a covered alleyway across the street. When Elijah asks where Katherine is, Stefan asks where Elena is. Elijah says she is, "...safe. How long she remains so depends upon you." Stefan says, "Well, I guess the same goes for Katherine." Elijah says Katherine can handle herself where the two (Salvatores) are concerned. Stefan corrects him. "Oh, you mean the three of us, 'cause little sister decided to join Team Good Guys for the time being." My poor, handsome Elijah is alarmed, because he hasn't been around enough lately to realize there is no longer such a thing as Team Good Guys. Everyone totally sucks. Except Elijah.

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