True Blood
And When I Die

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 2 USERS: A-
Trust Me On The Sunscreen


Arlene: Bitching to herself about taking out the garbage because all of the waitresses and cooks and hosts are off having Halloween adventures and saying Samhain wrong and pretending like Wicca wasn't invented last Tuesday.
Rene: "Hey, Arlene! I just dropped by to say hello and that I still love you and our baby even though I am a serial killer. Also, I am going to do this in my fake Cajun accent for some reason."
Arlene: "Even though I totally saw a ghost a couple of nights ago and I know that they are real, I am still losing my fucking mind."
Rene: "Okay, just watch out for Terry's history. He's bringing trouble of the worst kind. I've met the ghosts of his past. They ain't gonna rest forever. Run."

Terry: "Arlene, why are you back here screaming at the garbage?"
Arlene: "I'm not sure I should tell you. One, because my paranoia knows no bounds and I was just told you're going to be trouble next season, but also because the same thing happened last season at this time, with our baby and that gross doll, and that ended up being a succession of red herrings. So maybe it's nothing. Maybe the ghosts of your past will just really be ghosts, or a haunted firetruck or something, and some other character can go to Mexico and get magic powers on the back of our dumb story."


Jessica runs to Jason's house in the sexiest Little Red Riding Hood outfit, with sumptuous visuals borrowed from the ads for the Seyfried movie last year. It's lovely. Jason thinks she's trick or treaters so he yells, but then it's her looking crazy good. They have a moment of decision as to whether he's going to invite her in, but of course he does. She's sad to hear that he finally told Hoyt -- as evidenced by his black eye and whatever -- but maybe also proud, even though she's sad for Hoyt.

Jessica: "Did you hurt him?"
Jason: "Well, I didn't touch him, but..."

They have eleven hours of graphic sex on the couch.

Jessica: "I don't want to be your girlfriend. I think we should keep it casual. Committing to Hoyt right out of the box caused me to go a little poly and I'm interested in continuing to check that out."
Jason: "Kinda wish you would have told me that before I took an ass-kicking..."
Jessica: "Uh, I didn't ask you to do that."
Jason: "It was the right thing to do."
Jessica: "And since when is Jason Stackhouse concerned with doin' the right thing?"

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True Blood




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