Young Americans

Episode Report Card
admin: D | Grade It Now!
How lovely to be a woman

Three kids sit around Liv Tynot. As Will comes running up the path, they all walk off, leaving her sitting on some steps. Clearly, the director told her, "Just look in your bag for something until he sits down." "Should I pull something out?" "No. Just start talking to him when he gets there. No one will notice that you never really needed anything in there anyway. We call it 'business.' Now put on this dress and wear your hair like this. You look even Liv-ier that way." She follows her orders and stops looking through the bag the second Will sits down. Behind her, the lamest game of Hackey-Sack is in progress. Two guys in striped shirts are trying to kick past "three." It's not working. Will introduces himself. She offers her name, but he says he already knows it. "So, you seen those banners around school?" If there are any young boys out there reading this, please don't take any pick-up advice from this show. "You like movies?" and "You seen those banners around school?" make you sound retarded. Liv Tynot says that the banners are "kinda hard to miss." Her sibilant "s" spits saliva into my eye. He asks if she was planning on going. From behind a giant leaf she says that she was, and that she's going "with Josh Carson." Will says that he knows who he is, too. Liv Tynot asks if Will went to Deerbrook as well. Will says no, but that Josh's "reputation precedes him." Instead of asking what that means, Liv Tynot just laughs until someone calls her name from far away. "That's me," she says, which may be this episode's dumbest line award, and gets up. The Hackey-Sack makes it all the way to two kicks. She says it was nice meeting him and walks off. They linger on a hand-holding. She didn't even thank him for asking her. I don't like her. Will looks "wounded."

Bella walks into the darkened, empty Friendly's. "My kingdom for a coffee!" she laughs. I start to nod off. Will says that the prices on coffee just went "from a kingdom to a buck." They then take ten more lines to have Will say that he has a question for her. He tells her about the cotillion and how he wanted to go with Liv Tynot, but she already has a date. Bella tells him to go with someone else and then ask Liv to dance. Once she's "putty in [his] arms" then he should ask her out. Bella is covered in grease smudges. He asks who he should take to the dance. Bella says, "Um, I don't know, I'd usually say Scout, but he's going with..." "You!" Will shouts. Bella snorts and says, "No, Paige." Will says that he meant he could go to the dance with her. Bella says, "No, no, no. No way, Will." Will asks why not. She says she doesn't go to Rawley. "So what? Who cares?" He says that they were invited. She says that she doesn't want to be invited and that they used to hate those people, so why would she want to be stuck around all of these "snobby, stuck-up, bitchy girls" who say to her, "You look really familiar" and she's all, "Yeah, I probably gave you a lube job yesterday, it's nice to meet you." I'm not really even paraphrasing there. I'm just saving you a bit of time because they stutter more. Will reminds her that she'll be there with him. "So will Scout, so will Paige." Check this. Then he goes, "With the right dress. A little soap and water. Your hair in one of those thingies. Come on, you'd be so hot." What an asshole. First of all, Bella would never in her life have been told that she could be pretty if she tried. Second, what an asshole thing to say. Will walks off to try and keep the one customer that just walked in this week. Bella looks into the sugar container and furiously tries to rub the grease off her nose. Will catches her and walks back. He emerges from shadows and says, "Two Townies, in the night, amidst a sea of privilege." Bella: "Will." Will: "Me and you, twirling the night away." Bella: "With four left feet." He says that they should go and show everyone how to have a good time. She says that their idea of a good time is warm beer, easy chairs, and cold pizza because they're just dumb Townies. Will asks her to do it as a favor to him. Smirk. Exhale. Look down and pout. "Well, there is this, um, this one dress," Bella says. Will gets on his knees and asks Bella to the cotillion. She says yes. There's no grease on her when she says yes in her close-up, by the way. He leaves, and she gets depressed again.

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Young Americans




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