Young Americans

Episode Report Card
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How lovely to be a woman

In the attic, Bella pulls an old white gown (to the twinkling background music) and walks over to the mirror. We hear Grace let in Mamawhore, who instantly teleports into the attic. She brought Bella her grandmother's pearls. Bella thanks her and they both turn toward the mirror. "You know who you look like?" Mamawhore asks. "Yeah. I look like my mom," Bella says. I fall asleep.

Coke commercial.

I don't understand this cotillion. So, it's held in this big mansion thing, and you have to dress like you're going to see Baby and Johnny do the meringue, but you can completely have your tongue down someone's throat by the punchbowl. Swing music. Wait! Did I just see an interracial couple dancing? Good Lord! Amazing! Everyone is really too close to swing dance, so they're just swaying around and kissing. It looks like they are all in uniform, with all of the white and small black bowties. It's like the help is kicking back in the back room. The music changes, the lights get a little bluer, and Scout watches Will and Bella walk in slow motion into the house. Everything turns to slow motion as people dance in slow motion, Bella blinks in slow motion, people turn to stare at her in slow-motion. Paige is either not in slow motion, or flips her head and stink-eye from Scout to Bella so quickly that the film couldn't possibly slow it down. Bella sticks her tongue to the roof of her mouth and whispers, "They're all naked." Will asks what she's talking about. She says it's a cure for stage fright. Back to slow motion. For some reason, Paige and Scout have to look upwards in different close-ups to see Bella. Scout asks Paige to dance again. She agrees. Scout gives one more backward glance to Bella. Bella and Will are still in slow motion.

Terri's in her tiny black bra in her sad blue light, crying on her bed. When I'm sad, I like to wear my little black bra and cry, too. My breasts heave better when I'm on my back. She gets up and pulls her tux out of the dry cleaning bag. She's still standing in front of the open window in her underwear, by the way.

I guess Scout and Paige decided not to dance after all, and Scout pulls Paige over to Will and Bella. Paige says that Bella looks "fabulous." "Oh, huh, so do you," Bella says. She looks at Scout. Scout's eyes freak out from not knowing where to blink and sort of jut around in his head for a second. Then Bella's eyes jut around, but clearly say, "You can't just drool over your sister in front of your girlfriend, you idiot." Will's eyes jut around as he nods. Paige asks if they want to join them on the terrace. Bella says that she and Will are on a mission for Liv Tynot. Paige and Scout walk off. Will looks up and sees Liv with some other blonde, breaking the dress code by wearing a halter-top dress. "She's really um..." Bella starts with a smile. "Something," Will finishes, before Bella can get out, "Skanky." "Yeah," she ends up having to agree. She asks him if he wants to dance. He says he would. She says then he should go over and ask her to dance. After a brief argument, Will slowly walks over to Liv. And of course, right as he gets next to her, her boyfriend twirls in and starts dancing with her. Will turns back around and sees that Bella is talking to a boy. He walks off, all dejected, ready to write another poem and cry on Finn's beefy shoulders.

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Young Americans




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