West Wing
Constituency Of One

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The 101st Senator

Josh comes up to Donna to ask, "Five minutes with Amy?" Donna replies, "Take ten. You're over twenty-one." In case anyone within earshot isn't aware that she knows Josh and Amy are sleeping together. Swimtern's there, and he mentions Josh's having been called the 101st Senator. Josh: "I'm impressed. You read block-letter headlines." Swimtern asks, "What's that mean?" Is he kidding? The lint in my navel knows what that means. How the hell did Richie Rich qualify for this internship? Never mind, I just answered my own question. Josh explains that he used to work in the Senate and has some pull there. Swimtern asks about the dead fish story. Josh says that a Congressman tried to bottle up a fisheries bill. Then he gets annoyed that he's explaining himself to Skippy and asks if this is an inquisition. Skippy comments, "Bet he's glad it wasn't a whaling bill." Shut it, Skippy.

Josh walks into his office as he asks whether Swimtern isn't supposed to be gathering up profiles: "Lord Bullingdon's having a field day over there." Josh looks at his desk, upon which there's a big dead fish wrapped in newspaper. He calls out, "We had a rule today: no gifts!" Donna comes down the hall, declaring, "Your birthday's not for you, it's for the rest of us." Josh wonders how that works. Donna doesn't know -- she thinks they get to eat cake and wear pointy hats. Josh begs her not to tell anyone: "I don't want one of those sad-sack parties in the Indian Treaty Room where some guy from the OMB drones on about how I saved the aquatic weed subsidy." Donna tells Josh that Amy doesn't have time for him this morning. Josh tells her to tell Amy to make time, and announces that he's going to the Hill. Swimtern wants to know what's on the Hill. Please, son, go play in the Mandyville traffic. Donna says, "Some buildings and a big statue of a guy with a beard." On his way out, Josh gets annoyed with Swimtern's pesky questions; he turns around and barks, "You don't get to know everything, okay? This isn't an all-access pass. You're not backstage at a Stones concert." Josh is on his way out when Swimtern asks if he's ever been backstage at a Stones concert. Josh says he hasn't. Swimtern: "It's pretty great." Oh, for the love of Brian Jones, shut up! Josh hollers, "I want him sorting mail!"

Toby follows C.J. into her office, discussing the poll results. Carol says, "Ben again on 5." C.J. tells Carol to stop giving her his messages. Carol adds that Leo's ready for the pre-brief. Toby sits down as he asks, "Who's Ben?" C.J. says he's a guy she lived with for six months. That must have been years ago. Toby: "I didn't know you lived with a guy named Ben." C.J.: "There's a lot you don't know about me." Toby: "Like what?" C.J.: "Well, that's about it, really." Heh. Toby wonders about her not wanting Ben's calls. C.J. muses about what would happen if she took his call: "It'd be great, to hear his voice --he has this low, husky radio voice -- and we'd be swapping memories and old jokes and pet names and then it's the frisky little emails, and pretty soon, it's, you know, a weekend in Little Washington and the late-night phone calls, and that's when we start to get on each other's nerves. 'Cause we get on each other's nerves. He has this thing where he twirls his hair and...." She taps the desk with her fingers, and kind of shakes her head quickly and smiles, adding, "Anyway, the bloom's off the rose and I don't call as much and it's the guilt and cherchez la femme and why didn't it work out the first time and it's ten years until we talk again." Toby comments, "That was a like a bad romantic comedy in fifteen seconds." Maybe, but that's about all the time Toby's willing to devote to anything like that, so it's just as well. I want C.J. to be happy. I want her to quit her job and get her groove back. C.J.: "Straight to video."

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West Wing




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