The Good Wife
Don’t Haze Me, Bro

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 3 USERS: A+
Retreat To Advance

Maddie: "No, I guess not. I guess agendas are normal, for ladies like us. For ferns like these."


Crockett: "But surely you see that I am in jail because of the Lawsons, why would I help them?"
Kalinda: "Well, for one thing you're in jail because you filmed yourself murdering their child. So. And then second of all, if this becomes a hate crime you're looking at federal charges, which means it's not a double jeopardy thing. You can totally go to trial a second time for this."
Crockett: "I mean, the kid wasn't gay. But I'm not getting on a witness stand, my lawyers say no, because there's too much that could go wrong. But you know who you should talk to..."


Chad Minson: "I'm a friend of Wayne Crockett's, who is now in jail. We used to play video games together, and this one time I saw Tre Lawson coming out of Beth Alexander's room looking very heterosexual. We laughed about it, because Beth was hot, and Tre had no game, so..."
The Court: "What is the point of any of this?"
Chad Minson: "Because I am super gay, you guys. And Wayne Crockett was the first person I came out to in tenth grade."
L/G: "And to your knowledge, has Mr. Crockett ever gay-bashed you or committed hate crimes on your person?"
Chad Minson: "No. He's a fool who videotaped himself drowning a kid, but he's not a bad guy."


Jackie: "Well, this place is a shithole."

She's right, but she's also wrong: The insects she's seeing, that are interrupting her stupid speech about whatever? They are not, precisely, real. Of two minds, about which, I am. Because on the one hand, give me a break she's seeing insects. And on the other hand, like, if she were going to go crazy in this particular parish of Crazytown, it makes sense that she would see insects. You know: Filth, secrets, bugs, rotting, disease. She's always imagining things are dirtier than they are anyway, right?

Eli, watching video after: "What the fuck is she doing?"
Video Guy: "I know, she did it the whole time. I think she's formicating."
Eli: "If that word means being a horrible old bitch because I took her off center stage, then yeah. That's exactly what she's doing."
Video Guy: "This is a common thing with lots of drugs, actually. Maybe we should..."

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The Good Wife




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