Veronica Mars
Drinking The Kool-Aid

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admin: B | 4 USERS: A+
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Brainwashing The Brainless

Veronica enters Mars Investigations. Veronica, it's too bad you've always been kind of a good girl, because this is pretty much the worst thing you've ever done. Wouldn't you like to be able to say, "Well, this isn't as bad as the time you caught me having sex with Weevil!" Add to that the bonus of, you know, having had sex with Weevil. Anyway, Keith wastes no time in laying into her, and Veronica takes it for a while until emotionally apologizing. She tells him they seemed so normal. Keith freaks out some more, but is forced to admit that the bugs he planted at the commune have yielded nothing less crunchy than the freshest granola. What's more, Greg and Miss Mills's backgrounds are absolutely spotless. Despite this, Keith cans Veronica from the case. Before they can really get into it again, the Gants enter with someone in tow who's dressed like he belongs on Sprockets, but looks...rather more severe. Let me put it this way: the only dance this guy would be interested in seeing is the Spandau Ballet. I know this much is true.

Keith's office. As Veronica eavesdrops, Mrs. Gant tells Keith that her mother had a severe stroke, and isn't expected to live more than a couple days. What's more, they just learned from her attorney that should she die, the bulk of her fortune -- about $80 million -- would go to Casey. Dude, and I bet he never even wrote her a single thank-you card over the years. How much effort does it take to dash off "Thanks for the yacht, Grandma" on a card and toss it in the mail, anyway? Keith confesses that he hasn't found any evidence of illicit activity at the commune, but that he can at least say that Casey isn't in any danger. Herr Doktor Evil pipes up that he begs to differ, and that the sooner they get Casey out of there, the better. Keith asks HDE what his deal is, and he says his background is in "SMSPI" -- Systematic Manipulation of Social and Psychological Influences. In other words, he straps people to a dentist's chair and repeatedly asks them, "Is it safe?" And, brrrr. Just thinking about that movie gives me the creepy-crawlies. HDE adds that a "vulgar" term for what he does is "deprogramming." Well, God forbid we tar psychological torture with the "vulgar" brush. I mean, if we do that, the name "Guantanamo Bay" might actually have negative associations attached to it! That way lies madness! Keith asks HDE to explain deprogramming. Incidentally, Keith's face reveals that he's picking up on the evil this guy's projecting about as easily as Backup would pick up on a Maria Callas performance. HDE, noting that Veronica's skulking outside, closes the door to the office. Dude, when people say, "Won't someone think of the children?," I can guarantee that it's not with you in mind. HDE gives a glossed-over explanation of what he does, and Mrs. Gant tells Keith they just want Casey home. Now might be the time to up your reward a little, don't you think? I mean, I didn't take any math higher than calculus, but I don't think differential equations are necessary to determine that spending a few extra thousand dollars might be worth it to gain EIGHTY MILLION.

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Veronica Mars

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