Veronica Mars
Drinking The Kool-Aid

Episode Report Card
admin: B | 4 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Brainwashing The Brainless

Miss Mills catches Veronica in the hall and brings up the poem she submitted, entitled "I Cut Because I Can." Hee. Miss Mills wastes no time in pinning a flower on Veronica and reciting the Hare Krishna chant. Well, not really, but that's what we're meant to take from her reaction, I think. She offers to take Veronica to Cult Central that afternoon. Veronica pauses to consider just how great an ass-kicking Keith will give her if she disobeys him. Deciding that she's still young and cute enough to sell the "I'm sorry, Daddy" line, she accepts. Well, at least Keith doesn't have to worry about Veronica selling her expensive car. In fact, I'm guessing Miss Mills hasn't seen what Veronica drives, or she would have been all, "Yeah, cult? Not so much for you!" Glad that didn't happen. Veronica's got enough social problems without being rejected by hippies.

Cult Central. Veronica and Miss Mills arrive, having taken separate cars. Well, at least Veronica can tell her dad that. She may have trouble getting the words out with his hands around her neck, of course, but it'll be worth a try. Miss Mills tells Veronica to feel free to look around at some point, but to stay out of the barn. VMVO scoffs at this warning. No better way to shut it up than with a helping of crow. They meet the head of the cult, who hikes his tongue down Miss Mills's throat, and shows no signs of coming up for air as the camera swirls around him. Veronica's face: Un! Comfortable! Miss Mills introduces Veronica to "Josh," who pulls her into a hug as off-camera, Miss Mills takes the opportunity to reapply her Blistex. She goes through that stuff even faster than she goes through impressionable youths. Josh, incidentally, is Greg from Felicity. If there's a lesson there, it's that it's a lot easier to score some action when you're not in direct competition with Scott Speedman. As the Un! Comfortable! hug continues, VMVO muses, "I knew I should have include a few discreet lesbian overtones in that poem." Hee! Although that might have led to a whole different problem, if you take my meaning. Casey appears, and greets Veronica happily, saying that he heard she was coming, but that he had to see it to believe it: "But now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense that you'd wind up here sooner or later." Hee. It's funny when super-friendly people are unintentionally bitchy. Casey tells Veronica he'll see her later as Greg completely gratuitously sucks face with Miss Mills again before heading off to nail the next in his series of concubines. Anyone think the commune's secret product is a home-grown version of Viagra? Anyway, Miss Mills shows Veronica the commune's wonderful ways. If this keeps up, I'm going to have to buy the world a Coke, and I really can't afford a big credit-card payment at the moment. Veronica agrees to pitch in while chatting with a young girl, who just happens to be black, named "Rain." Also, we hear from the head chef of the place, who tells us, "The secret ingredient's love." I gotta tell you, if someone told me that the secret ingredient in something I just ate was love, I'd be the one hurling at the side of the road. If you're unclear what I mean, go rent Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle. Funniest movie I saw this year. Rain tells Veronica she's got a fun job for her.

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Veronica Mars

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