Veronica Mars
Drinking The Kool-Aid

Episode Report Card
admin: B | 4 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Brainwashing The Brainless

Cut to Rain showing Veronica how to milk a cow. Demonstrating the proper hand technique, she says, "It's pretty easy once you get the rhythm down." Yeah, you know how I said it's funny when super-friendly people are unintentionally bitchy? It's even funnier when they're unintentionally dirty. Anyway, Veronica tries her hand (hee), and then turns the focus of the pumping to information. She tests Rain on the subjects of the barn and Greg, and comes up empty, but then gets her to spill that the product they're growing is "the ultimate cash crop." VMVO: "Yahtzee." VMVO, don't make me come over there.

Night. The group gathers around a fire as VMVO complains that they need to get to the good stuff already. Well, Greg hasn't tried to boink you yet, Veronica. There's that. Rain invites Veronica to sit with her, but then Casey extends an invitation of his own. Well, Veronica, here's your big chance to go dyke. But she goes to sit with Casey. Poor Rain. Even lesbians get the blues, you know. VMVO marvels at her newfound popularity. Casey notes that he and Veronica have had classes together for three years, but that they've never really talked. Greg asks the group how everyone's feeling. Rain pipes up, because even in the most communal of settings, all people are equal, but some are more SAG than others. Anyway, Rain babbles on as VMVO admonishes herself not to roll her eyes, since she's undercover. That's okay, Veronica -- I've got you covered. Anyway, we blissfully only get a clip show of the feeling circle, but then Greg invites the group to welcome Veronica, and they all start mooing at her. Which is a very clever way for a commune to enforce a policy of "no fat chicks." Miss Mills invites Veronica to share her poem with the group. VMVO tells us that "four out of five cult leaders like their handmaidens nubile, flighty, and teetering on the edge of a breakdown." She says she has to go, and flees the scene. That's your big crazy act? Didn't Lilly teach you anything?

Cut to the barn, where Veronica's taking the opportunity to look inside. She's shocked to see it contains a tethered, wild horse. No, Meteor, no! That's not Lana! (That joke's pretty much obligatory, if you hate Lana. Which in turn is obligatory, if you've even watched Smallville.) Greg, Casey, and Miss Mills come rushing up, so Veronica reassumes her flighty act, saying she was freaked out and just wanted someplace to pull herself together before driving. Casey looks the slightest bit suspicious, but that could simply be that his eyebrows are playing apprentice to those of Peter Gallagher. Tweezers, kid. I know it sounds like a pain, but you've got a cute face. Take it back.

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Veronica Mars

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