The Casino
Episode 3

Episode Report Card
admin: C | Grade It Now!
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All Bad Things

DRINK! In conversation with the band, Matt "Velvet" Dusk refers to their original vision to "make this place cool." DRINK! "Now we're back to karaoke," he says. Oh, Matt "Velvet" Dusk. I couldn't love you more. "This is all a big political system," he explains for those of us who've never held a job. "I've got Tim and Tom and Joe, I've got to please them because in the end, I want to end up upstairs in the Showroom." This is the first time we've heard about the Showroom. I stupidly assumed Zax was the Showroom. Apparently Zax is like heaven's foyer and there's this whole other Showroom where more glamorous, established lounge singers ply their art and deny the existence of karaoke. Wow, this is like eXistenZ. I wonder what the Showroom performers wish for. The Disney Channel? Caesar's Palace? "And if I piss them off enough, there's only one place I'm going, and that's oot." This is when I figured out that Matt "Velvet" Dusk was Canadian. Which explains why he's so hot. Man, I wish I were Canadian. They're my favorite, so kind and polite and attractive, and they have such clear skin and lovely singing voices. Just when I thought I couldn't adore Matt "Velvet" Dusk more, he's Canadian. They're like Mormons, but without the other stuff, and the worst thing about their whole country is Quebec, which is not even that bad. I wonder if it annoys Canadians when Americans idealize them. That's like Canadian Eye for the American Guy backlash or something: "Stop calling us polite and beautiful! Not all Canadians are polite and beautiful! Meet my cousin Terry! He's from Newfoundland!"

So there's another short digression there. I wonder if I'll get hate mail on this one...nope, because they're Canadian! I might get a "helpful suggestion" email or two, but that's it. So anyhow, Jenn wanders up to the band and asks if they'd mind letting her "embarrass" herself sometime by singing with them. "I don't know your music very well," she rambles, which is bad news, because all musicians think their music is the best kind of music and you should only own albums by Chet Baker and blah blah blah, but swing and jazz standard bands are the worst about this, due to getting beat up by real musicians all the time. Eighteen swing-and-jazz standard eyebrows shoot up past the Showroom and into the Steve Wynn Suite, and Matt "Velvet" Dusk, because he's lovely, asks seriously, "What do you want to sing?" And her answer is gorgeous and ever-so-Jenn: "I don't know, but let's practice tomorrow. If you have time." She sets the agenda and only then apologizes for setting the agenda: "Sorry I interrupted your conversation, Tom, but could you give me a job cocktail waitressing? Or are there possibly any chanteuse positions available?"

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The Casino

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