The Casino
Episode 3

Episode Report Card
admin: C | Grade It Now!
All Bad Things

Exterior shot, and a car driving up. Tim is worried and wandering around looking for R.I.C.O. and S.U.A.V.E. Host James says they are "in house" but not "giving much play." Tim is quick to point out his perspective, that they haven't given any "play" at all. James promises to "make every effort" and give them another call. Tom pops up from behind a counter somewhere and stares at nothing, slack-jawed. Then he interviews the entire fucking speech from the beginning, in slightly different words, about wanting to take enough care with them that they don't go talk smack about the Nugget to their friends on the Strip. James brings the Tim and Tom Connection to the Steve Wynn Suite, to make R.I.C.O. and S.U.A.V.E. feel super-special or something. When asked if there's anything they need, R.I.C.O. responds that they are doing all right, but could use another "half a million credit." Such a joker. Also? You're not going to gamble it anyway, right? They all laugh. Tim offers him some "loaded dice," and that's pretty funny, but not as funny as they all pretend it is. They all laugh hysterically, and Tim voices over that this is turning out to be a really tough situation, and then reiterates once more that they are wasting money on these guys if they don't gamble. "Listen, come on down to the casino later on, I'm going to deal blackjack for everybody, so we'll have fun." Judging by the number of times the camera catches Tom with his eyes closed, I would say that they are closed the majority of the time. Tim tools it up a little bit: "We're going to whoop it up a little bit," he says in this bizarre "I saw Wiseguys sixteen times" kind of unknown accent. Tom says something I cannot decipher about how they have a plan of some kind, having to do with "Frank, Sam and Dean-O," but that's all I can glean no matter how many times I listen to it. I even listen to it with my eyes closed hoping to get some Tom-insight. Nothing. R.I.C.O. says he appreciates them coming up to visit, and how it's like [DRINK!] "old-school Vegas" somehow. Tim begs them eleven more times to leave their room, and then everybody hugs everybody else. As the Tim and Tom Connection are leaving -- the door's still open, so R.I.C.O. and S.U.A.V.E. say entirely for their benefit that the Tim and Tom Connection are "a couple of guys," whatever that means, and "a class act."

There are clothes scattered all over Jenn's suite, and she's wearing another slutty black dress and a black BOA and she answers her phone and it's her grandma. I'm a guy and I don't really own clothes like that? But if things were very different for me, and I were wearing what she's wearing, and my grandmother called? I would totally ask her to wait and then quickly change clothes. I can't even talk to my boss on the phone unless I'm fully dressed. Is that weird? She's asking her grandmother to tell her the words and tune of the song she's going to be singing. Grandma tries to give her the tune, but the speakerphone distorts it so badly she might as well be singing a commercial for Ford trucks. She still has a better voice than Jenn, who now attempts to sing along with her, meandering around the melody in a vertigo-inducing manner. Grandma, Jenn informs us, has been a singer since she was fourteen. Older and wiser now, Grandma screams at Jenn to drink a lot of water while in Vegas, and Jenn laughs that she's been "chugging it by the gallon." Which just sounds like she read it off the back of a porno, which is what she is living. Small bumper out to commercial about how Jenn's about to come face-to-face with her big break, "but her true talents may lie elsewhere!" ["Yeah. In Portland. Go away, moron." -- Sars]

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The Casino




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