True Blood
Fuck The Pain Away

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 145 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Take Me To The River

And that's the story of how Lafayette threw Sookie in the back of his car and drove her to the bridge so he could kill her ass. That escalated quickly, didn't it.

COMPTON LABORATORIES

I guess Warlow's just been bumpin' around this whole time. Him and Bill just hangin' out not really talking to each other, while this whole day's worth of an episode went by. Not sure what went down, but when we get back there Warlow's thinking about eating Takahashi.

Bill: "As your Mommy I comm..."
Ben: "I'll kill him before you're done talking."
Bill: "An innocent man?"
Ben: "Try my entire innocent faerie trÿbe."
Bill: "I told you you couldn't ever go back. You went back. That shit's on you."

3496 BCE (BEFORE THEY INVENTED HOW TO COUNT FORWARDS)

Wig Ben: "Wig Father! Wig Mother! Wig Wife who is now married to a blond hottie!"
Wig Parents: "We're so glad to see you we're talking in Aramaic, the language of the wigmam faerie people."
(Pops fang.)
Faerie Fölke: (Weirded out.)
Niall's Mom: "Stay in your teepee! Stay in your wigwam! This is getting too tense!"

He et everybody. Et 'em right up. They were delicious. Only Wig-Baby Niall Brigant was left, shuddering and feeling all-alone faerie feelings. Feeling much too tense.

NOW

Bill: "You didn't need them, you had me! Your perfect Mommy! Your destiny of greatness!"
Ben: "Uh, I don't believe in dumb prophecies, Bill. You are shitty at being God and you are shitty at being my Mom, Bill. I am going to eat this scientist and then all vampires will be done for."
Bill: "You can just go to your room. Ah don't have time for this."
Ben: "Why didn't you just stay dead, MOM? Why are you so stupid and ugly and dumb, MOM?"

Takahashi: "What the fuck is even happening right now?"

Then a memory of one time Ben was wearing a wig and looked super hot anyway, and he fingerbanged a hole in a cave and the sun came in and that was it for Mommy. Back then was before coffins.

STEVE

Is very excited -- along with his lovely ex-wife, whose grin is no less shit-eating -- to show Governor Burrell a very special treat: Eric Northman, in the racquetball court, wearing blue overalls and looking just simply smashing in them.

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True Blood

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