The Office
Health Care

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Health Care

Later, Jim and Pam storm the Dwight Schrute Work Space, and Jim and Dwight participate in some hellacious wrangling over the difference between an office and a workspace, as well as over Dwight's assertion that he is Jim's superior, a notion that seems to disquiet Jim at a level usually reserved for YouTube videos of guys getting hit in the junk with crowbars. Pam cuts to the chase, accusing Dwight of selecting a "ridiculously awful plan." Dwight happily agrees when Jim claims that Dwight cut more than he needed to, going on to say that he doesn't personally need any health care himself, because he's never been sick. Jim calls out what would logically be Dwight's resulting lack of antibodies, but Dwight is convinced he needs no antibodies -- he has such strength of spirit that he can raise and lower his cholesterol with his mind. "Why would you want to raise your cholesterol?" asks Pam. "So I can lower it," Dwight responds. She asked for it, you have to admit.

The accountants discuss Michael's hiding game amongst themselves, and Kevin happily burbles that Michael will need the potty sometime, and the potty's out here. Indeed, Michael winds up being hopped upon by Meredith and Oscar when he emerges from the bathroom. When the whole staff corners him, Michael acts like he had nothing to do with the draconian changes, and he sends Dwight back to rethink the plan. This seems to postpone the immediate crisis, but Michael still feels so uncomfortable sitting in the same room with the idea that people are displeased with him that he starts to improv, which is never, never, ever good for him -- here, he winds up announcing that there will be a great surprise at the end of the day. Nobody believes him. In his office for a TH, Michael admits that he doesn't know what the surprise is going to be, but he's thrilled, because everyone is out in the office right this minute thinking about how awesome Michael is and how much they adore him. INDEED. I must say, I can think of no one who needs to be loved as much with this kind of grasping, ultimately futile fire in the belly, unless it's Robin Williams. A comparison Michael would incorrectly find flattering, if you think about it.

Dwight announces to the staff that he's been made aware that they're unhappy with the plan, so he wants them to fill out a survey and say what diseases they have, so he can see about coverage for those. Jim points out the slight confidentiality problems this creates, but Dwight solves this very easily by pointing out that nobody has to use his or her name on the sheet. Just write your diseases down anonymously! Well, that does sound good. HIPAA schmippa! Don't come at me with your Department Of Federal Requirements!

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The Office

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