True Blood

Episode Report Card
admin: C | 1 USERS: A-
Define "Screw"

Franklin Mott visits the Old Compton place, where I guess Jessica is still trying to figure out how you find a corpse if you lose one, and acts all chipper and Cock Robin with her, and eventually just walks right in the door. One more item on a just absurdly long list of things Bill never told her: Vampires don't have to invite other vampires in. He calls her by name and drops some info so she knows he's wise to her, and then sort of gently presses several times about how he's a finder, he finds things that get lost, like say you lost something maybe he could find it for you, like have you ever lost anything -- she immediately says, wryly, "Bill Compton" -- and he's like, no, like something you maybe lost in the last couple of days, like a person but not Bill, anything like that? Then he opens a bag and pulls out dude's head and makes it talk to her.

Do I love him, or do I hate him? I can't tell. This episode is so weird and off that I am not committing to anything this week. Jessica bravely pretends that she's freaked out by the disembodied head because it is a head, but he's not fooled. "Come on, tell me! Where'd you meet this handsome devil? Hm? Who broke the ice? I'm guessing him: You've sure got some pretty lips, girlfriend," the head woggles, and then starts making kissing noises. It's so gross, but also kind of awesome. Point being, he explains, he's a finder of things and a fixer of problems. So quid pro quo, Clarice: Tell me everything there is to know about Bill.

Sam wakes up to a silent alarm going off in the bar, grabs his gun and heads for the office -- where Tommy, once again, takes flight before Sam can grab him. The room's been tumbled, but I don't know if he got anything.

Alcide takes Sookie to "Lou Pine's," the oldest and most creatively named were bar in Mississippi, and I'm sorry but it looks cheap. I realize a certain amount of money is going to be spent on the obvious things like wolves and whatever, this year, but Lou Pine's is one of the most amazing settings in this story -- there is a dance sequence coming up, hopefully, that is maybe the greatest thing that will happen all season -- and it's just sort of cheap looking in reality. Not like a dive bar, not like authentically cheap, but like a badly constructed set for a TV show. It's not a biker bar in any way, it's like a tourist bar, with light-up things all over the place. Also? There are giant pictures of wolves all over the walls, which: Gay.

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True Blood




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