True Blood

Episode Report Card
admin: C | 1 USERS: A-
Define "Screw"

Yeah, speaking of not okay, Tommy Mickens is sitting on the couch with Joe Lee, who is wearing nothing but some obscene tighty-"whities," and Joe Lee's arm is crooked weirdly up so that it's resting on Tommy's upright knee, which is, okay, maybe a little possessive or weird, but not so bad, but then Sam comes into the living room without knocking, at which point Joe Lee scoots horizontally away from Tommy faster than the eye can see, just herky-jerky jumpy and troubling, and after some cursory nervous hellos during which he fiddles with his gross old penis pretty much nonstop, he babbles and runs to get his wife, leaving their sons to have a little meeting about the recent attempted murder.

When I try to look into my crystal ball and see what the deal is with the Mickenses, the long-term true darkness of them, I can't really see much beyond bad, bad things. My brain just stops. But he's covered in scars, and seems to be a sociopath, and lies to Sam about how he didn't really think Sam would die when he tried to kill him. And before there's more to that, the parents come back looking just awful as usual, and Melinda is pathetic as usual, trying to seem so much better and stronger and brighter than they really are, like beautiful Sam with all his wonderful qualities wakes her up to the fact that they are white trash alcoholics with a very deep-seated problem going on in their home. I hate the fucking Mickenses. I am not strong enough to delve into their mysteries.

Anyway, Momma cries, and Sam tries to get Tommy to be cool with her, but that's not really his place, and then they all say goodbye and he gets himself the fuck back to Bon Temps. The white trash of Bon Temps grows thick in the hills and they are highly cult-susceptible, but at least they don't lounge about in their underwear like Arkansas hillbillies. Usually the only people in Bon Temps that run around in their underwear are hot. Totally different scene. I mean, there was that week of orgies, but that was like one time.

Jason Stackhouse, you sure are wearing a bunch of clothes today. And a certain optimism, if I read you correctly. Ah, yes. Having tackled a single drug dealer, while raiding Cal's compound in Hotshot, you have now had your purpose revealed to you by the universe. "Police work just ain't about tackling people. There's marksmanship, paramilitary training. I got all that now. And let's face it, would you feel safe with me patrolling the streets, or Andy Bellefleur?" Um, that depends on many other factors. But honestly, the point of that line is less to spark a debate about their comparative merits or non-merits and more about introducing the idea that Jason is about to fall out of love with Andy as a father-figure, and start fucking with him as a father-figure, so that he can eventually best him as a father-figure, and thereby become a man. Jason's track record with this particular thing, though, I just hope they both live through it.

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True Blood




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