True Blood
Let’s Boot & Rally

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 2 USERS: A-
The Invention Of Roses

Gandalf: "You shall not pass!"

Too late, Gandalf. Ellers out.


Problem #1: Jesus's head shows up in Lafayette's face, with his mouth sewn shut.
Lafayette: "Eeeee!"

Problem #2: Jesus's head shows up in Lala's mom's face, with his mouth sewn shut.
Ruby Jean: "Jesus, where have you been?"

Luckily, Alfre Woodard is skilled at reading the lip-sewn mumbles of formerly living brujos, so she just chuckles and says hi and promises to tell Lafayette whatever he's mumbling about. I can't remember where she lives now, so I'm not sure if her just throwing back her head and yelling her son's name is Problem #3 because he's all the way over in Bon Temps and she's acting real weird, or if she lives in Lafayette's house now. Which I guess would still be Problem #3, because that bitch is crazy.


A freezer or something, with a bunch of dead and alive people hanging from meathooks, ready to get served up to old King Russell the next time he gets hungry. People who no longer wish to be in this room include Doug, as well as a random man who lost a bunch of weight avoiding carbs and has only just begun to live his life. Characteristically, the Boys just leave them hanging there, hollering, because they don't have time for this.

Bill, awesome: "You ready?"
Sookie: "Oh, man. Every time Bill gets awesome, he immediately does something to fuck it up. Please, please stop being awesome. And yes. Yes, I am."


Luna: "Oh, for fuck's sa..."
Sam: "I know, but Suzanne and Emory just got shot in the head!"
Luna: "Whatever, I guess you can come in. That's pretty awful."
Sam: "It's so super sad, because they were such wonderful people. Right?"
Luna: "That's stretching it, but..."
Sam: "Oh, poor Luna. Are you desperately sad?"
Luna: "Uh, no? I mean it's fucked up, but I have this werewolf kid I gotta..."
Sam: "Oh, Luna. Poor Luna. Come here. Just come into my arms."
Luna: "Yeah but I'm not like all that bro..."
Sam: "Shh, shh. It's okay. Sam's here now."

In his usual gross way, he's basically petting her hair to shut her up, and just coincidentally each stroke of her hair pushes her head further down into his lap. I don't know, there's just something about the sheer volume of times Sam has ended up getting laid in this circumstance, it's shifty. (So to speak.) Like has he ever gone to somebody's house, or they come to his house, and it hasn't ended in this exact scenario? (Well, or they get shot. That happens a lot too.)

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True Blood




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