True Blood
Let’s Boot & Rally

Episode Report Card
admin: A+ | 2 USERS: A-
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The Invention Of Roses

Eller: "I jumped out the window, man. And it stared at me, through the window!"
Patrick: "Oh, it's one of those scary monsters you escape through the window. Got it."
Eller: "And then I looked it up on Google!"
Patrick: "Oh, for fuck's sake."

I was thinking it would be a djinn, but actually it's an ifrit, which makes a lot more sense. If you weren't raised by witches, or D&D players, you might not immediately know what that is, but basically it's -- in real life -- an elemental spirit, like gnomes and naiads, that you call up like an egregore to do stuff for you. Like Ariel in Tempest was an Air spirit in this same way. Now, in the show, basically it's the same thing, but crossed with the whole racist gypsy trope where right before you shoot a lady, she says some foreigner talk and then you are fucked.

FLASHBACK

Terry suddenly remembers how there was this lady in a pile of bodies who wasn't quiet dead, so Patrick ordered him to "dead check" her a bunch of times -- so you see, Terry's not really to blame -- and finally he shot her, but not before she said a bunch of foreigner nonsense and cursed him and his future bitch wife and their serial killer baby. I guess you could forget this part, if you had major PTSD like Terry does, but the next part of his flashback is when it gets real dumb, because he totally saw the ifrit coming out of the fire of the lady who was on fire, and it looked at him, and it was like,

"Terry Bellefleur, I am going to come to kill your family in Season Four, but your family will be saved by a voodoo ghost lady who will have become attached to your son because of a doll that a gay couple found in their house. Not a real gay couple, this redheaded vampire and a giant, but basically their story will be a more realistic gay-couple story than the actual gay couple, who will trade demon faces and magic powers and eventually stab each other. Anyway, that's what's going to happen. You can tell from how you just shot a lady and she said foreign talk at you and then a demon appeared and looked at you and told you all of this. You're going to feel pretty crazy in your mind from this point forward, but just at least don't forget that I told you this, okay?"

CRIMESCENE

Remember Sam's shifter buddies and how they got shot in the head? Me neither until just now.

Coroner Mike (!): "Man, these people are so boring I can't even remember what we're doing. I guess they were just sitting around drinking wine and then somebody shot them in their boring foreheads. I guess we have to solve their murders. I'm just happy to be here."

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True Blood

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