Veronica Mars
Like A Virgin

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 6 USERS: A
Feels So Bad Inside

School. Saint Blonde is doing a segment on the Navigator, the students' news channel. Her co-anchor says something unscripted, and she goes all Cindy Brady with the red light on. Afterward, Pam and Beta Lilly, "Kimmy," chat with her. According to Saint Blonde, Kimmy should have been picked for anchor, although it's not clear whom Saint Blonde thought she was better than. Kimmy thanks her after a quick look at Pam. Kimmy's the Amber to Pam's Outback Jerri. I'd hope that doesn't mean she's going to have a million dollars some day, but the truth is that she probably already does.

Veronica finds Saint Blonde at her locker. Saint Blonde says she's been getting continually harassed, which again, seems off. There were tons of other scores worse than hers -- are all those other girls getting this kind of treatment? Also, if I were a straight guy, hearing about all these easy targets might make me less "outraged" and more "psyched." What kind of world is it where straight teenaged boys aren't looking to hook up with any girl with passable tits and operational lungs? Veronica asks Saint Blonde if anyone else might have her password. Saint Blonde thinks maybe her sister, "Lizzie." "We're very close."

Bathroom. Lizzie is telling Veronica she wishes she had posted the test, since living with Saint Blonde is a royal pain. You know what else is a royal pain? That kind of "ironic" transition. I hated it when Buffy started relying heavily on it, and if Veronica Mars follows suit, we're going to have a problem. Hey, it's important to get these issues out in the open early in the relationship. And speaking of issues, Lizzie bitches that her parents lord Saint Blonde's perfection over her all the time, and tells Veronica she might as well blame Lizzie for the test, since Lizzie gets blamed for everything else anyway. She leaves. I wonder what Lizzie's middle name is. "Borden," perhaps?

Veronica goes to see the IT guy, who's French. He's not bad-looking, although he certainly doesn't rate the Jeff Spicoli-like "Whoa" that Veronica gives when she gets a good look at him. Anyway, Veronica sets her dial to "ditz," feeding him some bullshit story about how she needs her friend's password to change her screensaver to read "Happy birthday." She adds that her friend won't mind, as they're "total BFFs." Frenchy: "I don't know what that means." Hee. Also, speaking of birthdays, his apparently wasn't yesterday. No way, no day, au revoir. Veronica leaves.

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Veronica Mars




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