Veronica Mars
Mars vs. Mars

Episode Report Card
admin: A | 8 USERS: A+
Mars vs. Mars

Did I just see Taye Diggs beatboxing on Kevin Hill? I mean, really.

When we return, the class has cleared out except for Rooks and Veronica. Veronica asks if he's okay, and he says he's been better. He tells Veronica that he did not have sexual relations with that girl. My choice of words and emphasis there is in no way meant to be taken as a spoiler. He adds that it won't matter, and speculates that everyone in the school probably knows by now. Veronica notes a couple of giggling airheads outside the class, and agrees. She fails to add that her own reputation isn't exactly helping the situation. Rooks says that teaching is all he ever wanted to do, and now it's over for him, but Veronica's all, "Not if I can help it." Rooks nods, unconvinced. You'll see, dude -- the student will become the teacher. Just not like that.

Outside, Carrie sits alone as a group of girls starts up a chant of a verse of "Don't Stand So Close To Me." Some people on the boards wondered if they'd really be that familiar with an '80s song. Having some friends and relatives with kids in this age range, I can tell you that '80s music is enjoying quite the retro revival among teenagers these days. And I don't know whether to welcome the airplay of tunes from my youth, or to sniff at the impertinence of these kids adopting said music as their own. Perhaps I just won't think about it, since both options make me feel older than Nebuchadnezzar. Carrie takes her leave, and Wallace notes the harshness. Veronica's unsympathetic, since Carrie's long been "the gossip queen of Neptune High." Hee. Can you imagine the pageant for that? You could have the "bitchiest rumor started" competition, followed by the "best eavesdropper" category. By lunchtime, half the field would be eliminated due to the resultant eye-scratching. Veronica puts on her ingratiating voice and asks for a favor, and Wallace cynically guesses she wants to "borrow" Carrie's permanent file. Veronica: "I remember when you were new and eager to please. Good times." Yeah, but his hair's better now. That'll give anyone attitude.

Veronica spies Duncan, and pops over to talk to him. Her errand must really be urgent, if she can be within ten feet of that fugly-assed sweater he's wearing. If you think a garment comprised entirely of earth tones can't cause retinal scarring, you obviously haven't seen this episode. Veronica tells Duncan that her family physician retired to Death Valley: "Literally. I know it sounds like a metaphor, but it's not." Duncan laughs. He's kind of pretty when he smiles. I vote for more humor on that basis alone. Veronica asks him for the name of his practitioner. It's "Dr. Al Levine," but Duncan warns her that he's a little expensive. Veronica tells him they've got insurance. Duncan makes a weird face, which I guess is meant to convey embarrassment at bringing up the money issue, although it seemed perfectly reasonable to me. He leaves, and VMVO tells us it's time to find out what Duncan's mystery illness is. Well, if it's "the right to privacy," you're going to cure him of that, no doubt. Although it's not like a lot of people are still suffering from that these days.

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Veronica Mars




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