Alicia: "...Okay. I get it. I am also a dork, and I also have no friends, so I get it. We'll talk about this later, dork."
Out to the DOC van, where they're marching Colin in a way that looks like transport but is actually a meeting about the deal: Alicia and Celeste, Cary, and of course Imani, who seems just as bored being Cary's constant babysitter as he thinks it's hilarious. That's when things get really interesting, in terms of Colin and Alicia's thing.
Cary: "Pike's ordered four witnesses murdered since he went inside."
Colin: "What a fantastic reason for me to be a witness against him."
Cary: "No, the deal is going to be for what you find out today. Not what you already know. Also, because you are Skeevemaster General, you're wearing a wire."
Alicia: "Uh, no."
Cary: "Uh, yeah. We're going to transfer Pike to another prison, giving him a layover at County, where he'll run into Sweeney and admit to this latest murder."
Alicia: "Way too dangerous. No way."
Everybody: That was interesting.
Cary: "Sweeney, it's up to you."
Alicia: "Do not do this."
Everybody, now just staring at her: Again, what a super interesting response.
Celeste: "Alicia, it's his decision?"
Celeste: "Three things. First of all, you have to be there for the wire because secondly, he thinks you care about him, which is even more interesting because thirdly, you totally care about him."
Alicia: "No, don't be ridiculous. I just don't want to watch a dude get shanked."
Celeste: "Not even a wife-killer?"
Alicia: "I am Alicia Florrick. It's how I roll."
Ol' Left-Turn Serrano: "You're so interesting! Why are you with Will?"
Alicia, perturbed: "What makes you think I'm with him?"
Celeste: "Because you are. And because he's smitten with you."
Alicia: "Smitten? Gah."
Celeste: "No, that's the word. Sweet and high school and vanilla. No offense."
Alicia: "Sure, bitch. None taken. You know what's high school? Trying to get at him through me right now, even though you broke up nine years ago. Talk about high school."
Celeste: "...I may also be smitten, to be honest. That was a good one."
A portal to Hell opens up in the middle of the room and David Lee rises into the air with a pitchfork and just floats there surrounded in flames and totally fucking flips out on her.