Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 2 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
No Secrets, Only Dirty Shame

Lockwood Mansion: Mason's on his way to the Contrivance Cookout when Ty tries to talk to him about the family secret. Ty might be freaking out, but Brick House plays it all very nonchalant. "Tyler, what do you want me to tell you? Yes, I turn into a wolf. No it's not going to happen to you." Yeah, dude. Like, chill. Brick House says Tyler won't trigger the curse, so it's better for him if he doesn't even know what it is. Tyler dangles the possibility of finding the moonstone over Mason's head, in exchange for information, but Mason leaves him hanging and walks out. After he's gone, Tyler takes out the moonstone and plays with it, because he thinks you're too dumb to have even watched the Previouslies segment.

Mossy Manse: Katherine is reading Stefan's journal when he brings her blood from Damon's private stock. He snatches his diary away from her, but she's not letting that harsh her mellow. She knows about the werewolf sighting and warns: "Their bite kills, Stefan. It's best to stay clear of them during a full moon." It seems the woofers indirectly led to the vampire clearing of 1864. Sure, it was the Founding Families that organized it all, but they were led by the Lockwoods, AROO. She then brings up the original Founders' ball, so we flash back to...

1864: Damon gives a nice toast to his good friend and Confederate villain hero, George Lockwood. George gets snarky at Damon for deserting, and makes me hate him right off the bat. Henry (remember Henry -- tomb vamp killed by Damon and Alaric) pulls Katherine aside and tells her that the recent rash of brutal attacks weren't committed by vampires, but the victims were torn apart in whole new ways. Henry suggests they leave town immediately, but Katherine says the town is their home, the vamps are her family, and she won't let anyone do anything to them.

Mossy Manse; Present Day: Katherine tells Stefan that she knew George would be a problem, right away. She and Stefan then discuss werewolves a bit more. The gene runs in the Lockwood family, but they're not all wolves. (It is a curse or a gene? Why, I guess it's a cursed gene, or a gene curse.) Katherine soon tires of this conversation because it has little do do with her, so she grabs Stefan's journal again, pulls out her portrait from 1864 and asks why he kept it. She also wants to know why he came back to Mystic Falls, since she can't believe it was for Elena. Katherine posits that it was to fall in love with her (Katherine), all over again. Stefan Stealth-Salvatores up in her grill, grabs her face, looks at her like she's a long, tall glass of O+ and says, "What is it about you that makes me still care?" And although I kind of believe his words, as they kiss, I know I'm supposed to be screaming, "No," at the kiss. In actuality, I'm screaming "No," at how obvious this all is. And sure enough, Stefan stabs her in the back with a vervain dart. Stefan is the most painfully perfect vampire, ever. You didn't think he was really going to kiss the evil dead this early in the season, did you? Commercial.

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Vampire Diaries

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