The Americans
Mutually Assured Destruction

Episode Report Card
admin: B | 2 USERS: B+
The Replacement Killers

After the commercials, we're treated to a most unwelcome sight: Martha and "Clark," making out on the couch. You guys. These two. I very nearly cannot deal with them. Needy nerd love on overdrive. Clark, of course, wants to talk about business, but Martha's now at the point where she just wants her hot Clark loving and wants it now, and his insistence on talking shop is running the risk of alienating her, so he goes back to making out with her. After a little dance-around where he refuses to take off his glasses -- even though he obviously can see, but I guess it's about him keeping in character and thus compartmentalized, and who could blame him -- they take things to the bed. They're both sporting underwear that's pretty passably sexy for a couple of dweebs. It's okay, though, because Martha brings us back down to Earth by lunging over to the nightstand to pull out one lonely condom "from my last boyfriend." She says he was a jerk. Oh, Martha. Wait, does she mean Agent Chris? They were never that far along, right? We get one moan of pleasure out of Martha and then THANK GOD we cut back to them in the bed afterwards. While Martha catches her breath, Clark is just churning out flat, declarative sentences like it's his job. "It's nice to feel close to someone. It's been a while. I really needed this." He uses this all to segue into some work-based pillow talk. Now that she's gotten what she wants, she's cool with it.

So Clark tells this cock-and-bull story about his ex-Marine boss who's really leaning on them about getting results regarding these attempts on the scientists' lives. He says if they don't get results, he could get fired, and it's all about getting the various agencies and departments to share the information they already have, but nobody -- not even, say, Special Agent John-Boy -- will stick their neck out. Well, big surprise, Martha takes the bait and offers to share any documents Agent John-Boy has with Clark, so that perhaps Clark will solve the entire crisis and be a big hero. "And then you'll marry meeeeeee!" she does not add.

Meanwhile, at Stan Beeman's Soviet Sex Palace, Nina shows up and lets Stan try to impress her with his rudimentary Russian. Their recent dalliance has turned Nina into a leering, sexed-up double-entendre machine. He tries to back away from what happened last time, worrying he was unprofessional, but she's like, "I kissed you first, right?" And so she does it again and pretty soon they're making out on their gross couch. In the middle of kissing, they talk shop. She says that Arkady has been super worried the past two days, but when Stan asks, she says there's been no increased chatter back to Moscow, nor any flurry of meetings. Nothing that would indicate KGB involvement in the explosion, in other words. She sees that Stan looks the same kind of worried. He says he never should have gotten her involved in this. Nina, with that dark sense of humor of hers, tells him to just picture her dead (and then she resumes kissing him, which is why I kind of love Nina). He tells her that he is trying to get her out. His bosses, he says, need to feel like they've gotten enough information out of her. She just keeps kissing him, telling him she does whatever he wants her to do. Stan picks up on the implication that Nina might be sleeping with him because she thinks that's the ticket to getting home. And, like, duh. Nina doesn't so much deny it as she just changes the subject and assures him she's doing what she wants to do, no matter the motive.

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The Americans




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