X-Files

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Bats are not your friends

Gratuitous shot of a real, actual bat. Pan over to...the door of somewhere (where are those handy titles when you need them?), which opens, revealing a guy with his face all covered up by a bandanna, and big ole sunglasses. He grabs a little, real bat from off the beam of wherever he is, puts it in a cage, and leaves, taking the bat into the house and closing the door...which has a taxidermied bat as a door knocker. Cool, now I know what to get my Mom for Christmas!

Cassia County Cemetery, 10:23 pm. It's a beautiful night to be exhuming a grave, which is exactly what is going on. God, I can't remember the last time we had a moonlit night around these parts that was mild enough for me to exhume a grave. Sigh. I miss those grave-robbing days of yore. Sir Sexist, the Sexist Sheriff, compliments the Mortuary Dudes on getting the coffin out of the earth so promptly. He's told that it's easy "when someone's done most of the work." Apparently, the coffin had already been mostly dug up when the Mortuary Dudes arrived. Mortuary Dude Number One comments that whatever did the digging "scratched up the wood real bad." Sexist tells them to get the body to the morgue as soon as possible, and, as he heads toward his car, hears a little curious squeak. Investigating the source of the noise, his attention is drawn toward a tree. Inside of which, naturally, dwells ManBat. When Sexist sees ManBat's big beady batty eyes open and glare at him, he hisses and begins to run. But ManBat takes a flying leap (literally, y'all), and knocks Sexist down and sets to noshing. Sexist manages to shake ManBat off, struggle to his feet, and stagger a few steps away. Flying Leap Number Two, however, and he's ManBat Meat, the Official Lunchmeat of the Big 12.

Okay, I'm pretty sure these "California Cheese" commercials are local, but I love love love the one where the cows are all singing "Sunshine Day" in the front yard of their farmhouse.

Memo to Jessica Alba: I know Buffy. I've watched Buffy since the first episode. And you, Dark Angel, are no Buffy.

1:07 am. The mutilated body of Sheriff Sexist is rolled into the morgue. A little pre-Christmas gift for one Ms. Dana Scully (BoobWatch 2000: Covered In Scrubs), who does the Gillian Anderson Eyebrow Raise as she and Doggett look at the body in silence. She turns to Doggett just as the door to the morgue opens and one of Sexist's men asks to speak to Doggett, ASAP. He and Scully exchange A Look Of Great Portent.

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X-Files

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