Top Chef

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Hootie Hoo!

A viewer wants to know if Gail would rather go on a date with Fabio, Angelo, or Spike. Gail says that she's known Spike the longest and they're both Canadian (he is?) and so is her husband! I hate people who get theoretical questions like that and feel like they have to dodge the answer and point out that they're married. Just answer the question, Claire! Andy poses the same question to Padma, who says she'd like to go on a date with either Elia or Casey. Everyone sits there and thinks, "Wait, is Padma gay? But she has a kid? Is she bi? Or is she just trying to be interesting?" And then she adds, "Or I could motorboat Antonia." WHAT? I feel like there is not enough of a shocked reaction when she says that. She just said she'd rather put her face in Antonia's boobs than go on a date with any other cheftestant. Padma giggles that she just learned that word and was eager to use it. I still feel like when she said that, people should have just started running around the studio and falling out of chairs and throwing their wigs in the air.

Now comes the Jamie package. Jamie is sullen. Jamie complains a lot. Jamie cut her finger and went to the hospital instead of sucking it up. Jamie laughs really hard at the clip package -- she famously has said that she doesn't watch the show, so this is the first time she's seeing it. A viewer asks about Jamie's injury, and Jamie says it might have been a cop-out, but she wasn't taking chances. And there's some sort of beef between Jamie and Fabio? Where she thinks he shit-talks her all the time? Fabio denies it. Padma asks if it would have been okay if Jamie came back with eight stitches and Tom jokes that she needed to come back with no thumb. Here's the deal that no one is saying: in the heat of the moment, they were pissed that Jamie bailed. Now, with all that's happened, it seems silly. The end.

Andy asks Tiffani about her redemption. Tiffani says she was an asshole in her first season, and she did a lot of stupid shit, and she's glad she didn't win. She says winning would have validated her bullshit. Someone's had some therapy. Anyway, she came back to win, but also to show how she's grown as a person and a chef, so by that measure, she succeeded.

Andy asks who would come back for another season. Here's who raises a hand as near as I can tell: Fabio, Blais, Tiffani, Dale L., Jen, Mike (sort of?), Marcel (really?). They never do a wide shot where everyone has their hand raised, so it's hard to tell. Mike says his participation would depend on who was competing, and he might come back for "a mini-Masters." Everyone is like, "Oh, look who thinks he's awesome now." Tiffany gives a fantastic eye-roll.

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Top Chef

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