Top Chef

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | Grade It Now!
Hate the Sin, Love the Dinner

Elia has made a Dover sole filet with an egg. Ted says nothing of this, really. Cliff introduces his purple dish, explaining about the color blindness and saying that Marcel actually offered to help him find purple things, but he turned the help down. It seems foolish, because of all the things that are obnoxious about Marcel, I don't believe he would have told Cliff that cherries were purple or anything. In any event, what Cliff wound up making is red snapper with eggplant and "a pickled beet and blackberry compote." That sounds... kind of gross to me, I admit. I realize I'm kind of a Neanderthal here, but if you offer me fish with pickled beets and fruit, I'm going to cringe. I can't help it. I'll just have Cheerios, thanks. Ted likes it, though, so it goes to show you what I know. Sam's yellow breakfast includes "a duo of muffins," which is one of those phrases that just sends me right over the edge. And of course, rather than either one of them looking like a muffin, they're both cutesy-poo little slices of muffin -- one lemon, one corn. I really, really would rather just have a corn muffin. Anyway, the muffins are stacked with cheese and an egg yolk, so it's really kind of a duo of McMuffins. Alongside that, there's a fruit salad. Ted likes the combination of sweet and savory, and I admit that in the eating, I would probably very much enjoy that breakfast. Tooth-hurting Michael made salmon and carrot chips, which has the advantage of looking like something you might actually eat on purpose, Betty. Padma and Ted especially like the carrot chips. I like a contestant unpretentious enough to make a snack.

Asked to give his reviews, Ted says that his least favorite was Betty's. He tells her that green should have been the easiest color to work with. ["See?" -- Joe R] He also calls out the very sloppy presentation, in which the beans were just sort of slopped all over the place. "It looked like something you raked up, not to be unkind," he says. Betty tightly says through her grin, "Well, you are," and then she drinks her water, because she can barely keep herself from losing it all over Ted Allen, which she knows she shouldn't do. Seriously, lady, green beans lying on half a zucchini does not look delicious. It looks like cooked vegetables lying on top of each other. In an interview, Betty complains about the time constraints (which: half an hour? Come on), insisting that her dish was very tasty and, she stresses, completely green. I want to remind you that as far as we know, there was no instruction that the dish be entirely, uniformly the same color. The color theme was sort of the inspiration/parameter, rather than an end in itself. If you wouldn't order a big plate of zucchini and green beans in a restaurant, then having it be green doesn't mean it's something anybody would or should want to eat. Ted turns to Marcel, saying that his idea was kind of cool, but the "moat of coffee beans" was gross and "looked dirty." Probably because it was the result of making a mess. Marcel takes it like a man and doesn't explain, which I dig. Ted says that aside from its redness, Ilan's tartare didn't have much going for it, and he thinks maybe he got carried away stressing the red theme. Ilan whines that this is his first trip to the bottom three in a Quickfire. Apparently, the math has not occurred to him that as the number of people narrows, somebody has to wind up at the bottom who's never been there before. And guess what? It's him! Couldn't have happened to a more deserving person this week. He calls it "disheartening." I call it "richly deserved, karma-wise."

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Top Chef




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