Jason: "I think you vampire guys should stop blowing up that Emporium."
Vampires: "We are caught in a landslide of paranoia. We are cool with killing Sookie right now even though in about one second we will commit suicide for her."
Pam: "What chaps my ass is that this has to do with fucking Sookie. All of a sudden my emotional connection to Eric is childish and whiny. I have lost my feminism."
Vampires: "Yeah, Sookie kind of blows sometimes."
Jason: "Eric, Bill, you have plenty of reasons to be grateful to Sookie, despite the fact that she is constantly fucking everything up for everybody in the world."
Bill & Eric: "Jason is right. We should probably just let Antonia kill us."
Pam: "I spit pointless bile at all times like a misogynistic gay man raised on Golden Girls and Sex & The City might think women actually speak. I'm going to get a mani-pedi or eat some cheesecake and say shocking things."
Nan: "I know, and it's so weird because I was already doing that, back when you were still cool."
Jason: "Jessica, why are you so mad at me?"
Jessica: "Don't worry about it. We don't have time to discuss my boring revolutionary sexuality when there's a whole boring werewolf story to think about."
MARCUS'S PLACE OF BUSINESS
Sam: "Where is Marcus?"
Were: "I am not going to tell you!"
Alcide: "Where is Marcus?"
Were: "I am still not going to tell you!"
WHERE MARCUS IS: HIS HOME
Marcus: "Debbie, look at us. We are two of a kind. Greasy, trashy, and without vanity. Or accountability."
Debbie: "I just want some drugs. And Alcide."
Marcus: "But he won't have babies with you!"
Debbie: "As a woman, that is of paramount importance to me. Keep talking."
Marcus: "Well, I happen to have kidnapped a child earlier today and then stashed her in the other room so we could fuck. It's like a just-add-water family!"
Debbie: "Marcus, I've got a lot on my plate right now. Between being a lunatic and a huge drug addict."
Marcus: "You relapsed into drugs a few hours ago. Why are we having this conversation?"
Debbie: "Being here with you and a kidnapped child makes me feel really special. Keep begging me to run away with you until Alcide comes and kills you. That will make me feel pretty."
Marcus: "The other thing that I love about you is that you don't visibly flinch whenever I speak in this horrible way."
Debbie: "You talk like a Death Eater. You talk like Gambit."
Marcus: "We are in love."