Zero Hour
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Do The Reich Thing
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

1938: GERMANY - SECRET ROSICRUCIAN CATHEDRAL SLASH CLOCK SHOP

Rosicrucian priests seem to just be regular priests that don't tell you they're secretly Rosicrucians. They sit in underground cathedral complexes, making clocks, just like Santa's elves but dressed like Gringotts goblins. Just clockmakin' and cockrockin', all around the clock. In little vests and Germanic eyeware. And saying meaningless shit, of course.

"Twelve! Twelve is the magic number. Twelve is divine. Twelve is both the beginning and the end of time."

(Not true. I realize this show hinges on pretending clocks are real things, so I guess you could say that about "twelve," but really that's only for some clocks, and in any case -- like most of this show -- it seems to conflate the map with the territory itself. Which is to say, much as a clock is not time itself, a "show about clever people solving important and interesting puzzles" has to actually contain those things, or it's just a show "about." These are not very convincing as people, they are not clever at all, and a puzzle isn't really a puzzle when the answer is "nonsense.")

Turns out the Nazis are up to something! Even in 1938, you could kinda tell. But no, it's not what you think, they're actually about bringing the Apocalypse to us in a way that can only be fought ... through clocks.

1938: GERMANY - SECRET NAZI ZOMBIE & BABY EMPORIUM

Sneaky Rosicrucian: "These Nazis, man, they are the worst."
Stealthy Rosicrucian: "I'm glad our Unnamed Friend figured that one out, or else."
Sneaky Rosicrucian: "Probably this is about the Apocalypse. That's probably the main issue with Nazi behavior, their weird quasimystical beliefs."
Stealthy Rosicrucian: "Well, we have those too. Or hey, what about this scary test-tube baby with white eyes. What does he look like to you, like a Bob? Or a Vincent? Or maybe a Goose. Do you like that? Do you like your little name, Vincent or Goose?"

Observant Nazi: "Hey, are those some Rosicrucians?"
Rosicrucians: "Guess we're not so stealthy. Pace, deutschebags!"

1938: GERMANY - ROSICRUCIAN CATHEDRAL, CLOCK SHOPPE & THING STORAGE

Obfuscating Rosicrucian: "Well, I guess the Nazis are happening. Time for that Thing underneath the cathedral."
Exposition Rosicrucian: "What Thing again? Tell me, but don't really tell me."

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Zero Hour

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