The Voice
The Battles, Week 4

Episode Report Card
admin: B | Grade It Now!
A Long Day's Journey

Christina's last match up is Moses Stone (the hip hop MC) versus the country duo of The Line (a couple who are more conflicted on their relationship status than your average Amazing Race partners). She says it is an interesting pairing, but it feels like it is just the leftovers, and they are doing "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction." Christina tells them about the time she sang with Mick Jagger (and had a good connection with him... Read into that what you will). The Line freaks because the song is not even a little bit country.

Moses gets down to business with Lionel Richie. Wow. He cannot sing at all. The mentors think he really needs to be more powerful and he can sing... just like Drake or Lil Wayne. God, I hate her for making me think of that terrible Lil Wayne song. Now I've got that stuck in my head... which might be better than this train wreck mash-up in the making.

The Line works with Jewel, and they can barely harmonize with each other, so obviously a third voice in the mix is not going to help matters at all. She also tells The Line that they need to be less happy and smiley, and they should channel their break up or unresolved dating issues into the song. Christina stares off into space and ponders what a damned mess this will be. For their last minute on-stage rehearsal, Moses is crowding too much and The Line duo stands stiffly. I really hate that Christina sits in a director's chair with her microphone, even though they are about 30 inches away from her.

It's performance time, and it is freaking weird that we don't get to be introduced to The Line individually, their cheering section is just billed as "The Line's friends and family." It's beyond strange. Could we get rid of the duos next year? Please? Or only have them face off against other duos? Man this whole thing is just a mess, The Line girl waves her tambourine around and they look like his backup singers. The Line guy gets a bit of a powerful solo, which is halfway decent. Moses tries to show off his moves like Jagger, sounds passably better than he did originally and then does a little bit of rapping. Somehow The Line end up doing this strange choreographed move where they look like they are lunging at Moses like monsters, and he's begging for his life. This is a fucking disaster. I'm sure the judges loved it.

Cee Lo was impressed by Moses' versatility and swagger. Adam thinks it was an odd take on the song, but says that it is about vocals and he gives it to The Line. Blake agrees that this pairing was weird. Thank the Lord that he hasn't lost his sanity. He gives it to The Line, which isn't a surprise. Christina doesn't think "The Voice" means you have to have a powerful voice, but that you just need to be a star. She gives it to Moses, so we're done with The Line and their awkward love/hate relationship. I'm not sad about it at all. The Line girl, who's apparently named Hailey, looks more than a little pissed off and refuses to talk to the cameras. Christina is just happy to be DONE doing anything remotely like work as her Top Six are assembled.

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The Voice




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