The O.C.
The Chrismukk-huh?

Episode Report Card
admin: A | 1 USERS: A+
Give It Up For Short-Term Memory!

Inside the kitchen, the Ham Guy is talking about how it's going to rain symbolically the whole time Taylor and Ryan are in their comas, and Kirsten goes: "Are you sure this is a Virginia ham?" Which I have to ask: WTF with the ham? It's like a whole character in this episode. They're constantly talking about the qualifications of the ham and the location of the ham and the status of the ham and the home state of the ham and how there's a Ham Guy. There's a total closeup of the ham on the kitchen island, like it's emoting. "I am not even sure if I'm a Virginia ham or not. I am having a cured meat crisis of identity. What if I'm not as tasty as last year's ham? I'm certainly cuter, and last year's ham didn't even have any meat on it, which is like the point of ham, but for some reason last year's ham was mysteriously beloved, even though it gave everybody food poisoning and kept dating annoying gay guys and being a random lesbian."

Ryan wakes up on the back deck with his hand in Taylor's, and just so we know it's weird, there's weird music and a weird crane shot pulling back from their yin-yang coma, and it's all sunny, which is weird because before the ham monologue it was raining symbolically. "Are you hurt?" he asks Taylor, and she's awesome: "Only my heart, Ryan. Only my heart." She gets up and shoves the grill at him: "The receipt's inside. I hope you grill your face." She takes off and Ryan stares at the brightly shining sun and listens to the weird music. He goes to the pool house, but it's totally different: all exercise equipment and shiny black matte appliances. He turns to leave again, and suddenly double-takes backwards like he's going to catch it changing around. Like you can surprise the pool house. Outside, Kirsten's hair looks fierce and she's wearing black, in addition to a sour face about how the staff can't go poking about in the pool house. She demands to see his supervisor and he's confused. "Kirsten, what are you talking about?" She looks closer: "Excuse me, do I know you?"

Credits, with a weird cover of "California" over the usual credits, which are moving at the same rate as ever, so it's twice as weird and frenetic because the song is slower. It would have been cool to use different graphics, but whatever. This episode is really quite good, mostly due to it being Season Four and less so for being a Chrismukkah episode. I like alternate universe stories where it's obviously all being made out of one character's brain, or two in this case, because logic can just go out the window. Although I'm surprised this alternate universe isn't way more screwed up and weird, given my suspicion that Ryan is fully a crazy person at this point.

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The O.C.




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