The O.C.
The End’s Not Near, It’s Here

Episode Report Card
admin: C- | 3 USERS: B+
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Right Back Where We Started From

Taylor Townsend finally appears in the episode, back home from Paris. The customs officer greets her and asks if she's in town for "business or pleasure," which is what you ask someone when they enter a foreign county, not when they're returning from one, and she launches into a long explanation about how she's not sure because seeing Ryan Atwood again will not be a pleasurable experience for her. She then exposits how their relationship ended, saying they tried to fit into each other's futures, with Taylor learning hackey-sack to fit in at Berkeley and Ryan learning French and cheese and even growing a moustache to fit in in France even though last I heard, Taylor was going to Berkeley for school. Also, a moustache? Is Taylor confusing France with Florida? Unless she means that Ryan grew a moustache like Poirot's, in which case I feel really ripped off not to have seen it. "At least this time I didn't stalk him, though," Taylor says. "Because sometimes I do that. Good thing I never fell in love with the President, huh? That would be bad." And with that, Taylor is placed on the Terrorist Watchlist, Alert Level 5. Hardy har har.

Summer picks Taylor up from the airport and says that Ryan doesn't know she's back in town, as per Taylor's instructions. Taylor starts to launch into another speech about how over Ryan she is... until she sees Ryan and Seth in front of her. Ryan and Seth are just as surprised to see the girls as they are to see them. They're at the airport for a flight out of town for the day. The boys and girls part ways, and Ryan denies still being in love with Taylor. Taylor, on the other hand, admits to Summer that she's still in love with Ryan. I would probably care a lot more about this if we had been able to see them break up in the first place.

Spencer takes Kaitlin to meet her future stepbrothers -- all twelve of them. Spencer says they're named after every major oil refinery in Texas. Except for him, although that's not explained. Kaitlin is excited to meet them -- until she actually does. Instead of eleven more Spencers, she gets eleven little BULLITs: Austin, Dallas, Houston, Lubbock, Odessa, El Paso, Amarillo, Texarkana, San Antonio, Corpus Christi, and Hanoi. Hanoi, of course, is Vietnamese. And by "major oil refinery," it seems that Spencer actually meant "locations of major oil refineries," and by "in Texas," he meant "mostly in Texas with one in Vietnam." All of them are wearing cowboy hats and dressed in plaid cowboy shirts. And they're roughly the same age, so I'm guessing BULLIT had a wild and fertile few months about thirty years ago where he went through twelve wives or girlfriends. Oh, and they all say "Bang!" Julie walks in with news from the doctor: she's having a boy. The BULLITs whoop and bang in celebration. I love BULLIT and all, but... we were done with him three episodes ago. Why is he still here?

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The O.C.

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