Back with the boys, Seth's mind is well and truly blown as he realizes, "So when you lost your virginity, I was playing Magic: The Gathering." "You're still playing Magic," Ryan deadpans. "Not as much!" Seth yelps. Hee. The gals walk up, and Seth instantly lies that he and Ryan were just discussing the big date. Referring to Ryan's non-existent plans, Seth claims, "He's got a whole thing happening." Ryan shoots Seth a vicious side-eye as Seth obliviously continues, promising Marissa a big surprise and "the best date ever." Having thus doomed Ryan to expectations he couldn't possibly meet, Seth hops to his feet and offers, "Summer? Walk you to Bio?" "I can walk myself," she eye-rolls. "Great!" Seth perks. "Then you can walk me, too!" He's freaking adorable. Marissa, beaming, repeats Seth's best-date-ever promise and leans in to peck Ryan on the cheek. Ryan gapes.
Wolfram And Hart South. Irritating Rachel, The Homewrecking Slut natters on and on in front of an open laptop about the wetlands I don't care about as Sandy leans in over her shoulder to examine the report she's referencing. When The Homewrecking Slut suggests that it'll be another long evening at the office, Sandy begs off, citing his plans for the night with Kirsten. The Homewrecking Slut exclaims, "Sandy Cohen, you are cheating on me! With your wife!" with what's meant to be endearing mock indignation, but Bonnie Somerville's line deliveries suck so much, all I want to do is clock her one across the jaw. Sandy hems and haws and explains that he and Kirsten need some time alone to recharge their marriage's batteries or something, like, more information than is necessary in an office environment, chum. The Homewrecking Slut guilts him into canceling his plans. I hate her.
Caleb's Cabal Of Environmental Destruction That Nobody Cares About. Kirsten chugs into her father's office with some good news, but stops short when she spies Lady Heather conversing with her father. Lady Heather bubbles over with a couple of air kisses and announces, "This man just saved the Children's Hospital benefit." Caleb pshaws, but Lady Heather insists that he not be so modest. "I had just lost the Buckley yacht," Lady Heather reveals, "when he graciously agreed to let me host the event on his." "The man just gives and gives," Kirsten offers with a tight smile. You have no idea, honey. No. Idea. Kirsten notes that she hadn't realized Lady Heather was involved with the benefit, leading Lady Heather to claim, too demurely by half, "I though it was time to stop dwelling on my own problems and get back to focusing on the needs of others." Oh, please! Evil! She's evil! And God love her for it. Lady Heather crosses to air-kiss Caleb, and then saunters out of the office. "She is something," Caleb smirks. "She's that," Kirsten observes. Heh. "You know," she warns, crossing to sit, "you are now the official sponsor of The Julie Cooper Comeback Tour." "It's for charity," Caleb shrugs, before copping to his real motive for helping her with the benefit: "After all the bad press your husband's been getting us, it can't hurt the company to be involved with a good cause." Kirsten lifts a brow and changes the topic to her "good news." Sandy's cancelled their plans for the evening in favor of another late night at the office, so she'll be able to remain for the "working dinner" her father had scheduled. Caleb instantly casts aspersions on Sandy's fidelity, insinuating that he's having an affair with The Homewrecking Slut. Kirsten shuts her father down with a flat "I trust him." "You know what they say," Caleb smarms. "The only man a girl should trust is her father." And that's just wrong on so many different levels, isn't it? Kirsten allows a small smile at this, then rises to leave.