Third Watch
The Self-Importance Of Being Carlos

Episode Report Card
admin: D+ | Grade It Now!
Welcome to Hell. We Have an Entire Wing Devoted to You.

At the hospital, Doc and Carlos look inside the room of the electrocuted man. Doc praises Carlos's instincts. But he's honest: he says it's not about what you do in your job, it's about how you do it. Carlos got results, but he was cruel. Thus endeth the lesson. Plus. the woman gives Carlos a dirty look.

In sensitivity class, Bogosian asks Carlos whether he has anything to say. Carlos says that it's all right there in his evaluation. Carlos takes off his name tag and apologizes for wasting the class's time. "No time is wasted that makes us better people," Bogosian says, but really he's thinking, "The paycheck, the paycheck. I can finance five one-man shows with this crap appearance." Carlos gives a nice speech saying that he saved a guy's life and how that's better than holding hands and singing songs. "I never had a family to teach me, I never learned it when I was getting bumped around in foster care," he says, and explains that he's in his profession because he wants to be, and that, although he doesn't know from compassion, he does have passion for his work. He asks whether the people he's helped would rather have him soft-hearted, or good at his job. Bogosian doesn't argue back. Carlos walks back. Bosco follows.

Out in the hall, Bosco praises Carlos: "You were great in there, man," which is about as nice as Bosco will ever be to anyone. Just as Bosco is elaborating on the finer points of Carlos's speech, he's interrupted. "You believe that crap?" Carlos asks. "I was just shining him on to get a pass," Carlos tells him. Bosco looks stricken for a second, and then catches on and says he didn't buy it for a minute. He walks off, probably to beat up some guys on the street. After Bosco leaves, Carlos looks serious and a little sad. But then a pretty woman walks on by, and although it doesn't make him cry, Carlos can't help but see that she's hot. She's tall, is wearing a short skirt, and has her mouth all puckered up like Renée Zellweger. She turns her head and gives Carlos a look. That's all he needs. "Walkin' on the Sun" by Smash Mouth begins to play. Carlos turns around and follows the woman out of the frame. The episode ends right before I was about to commit hara-kari.

Wow, how did this tequila bottle get so empty? Guess it's just what I needed. So, thanks to God for helping me through the recap, and a pox upon Carlos for killing so many of my brain cells. I curse thee, Carlos. I curse thee.

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Third Watch




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