Time of Your Life
The Time The Millennium Approached

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The Time The Millennium Approached

In J.B.'s apartment, J.B. is telling Angela (his date, whose name we didn't find out until now) that she made these plans with her husband, and she's only taking J.B. so she can prove to herself that she can go through with them without her husband. Basically, there is a lot of talk back and forth where Angela says she can't face her friends dateless, and where J.B. gets across that he doesn't want to be used as a substitute for hire. He likes her and will do anything else with her but go to the party. Angela says she has to show up at the party because other couples will be there, and it will look like her life has fallen apart if she doesn't show up at all. J.B. acts like he understands, and Angela leaves, without him. That's right -- hang tough, J.B.!

Scraggle wanders into a pawn shop and looks at the guitars. Coincidentally, his is hanging there. He asks the pawn dealer if he remembers what the guy looked like who sold it to him. "Naw, all look like criminals. Criminals and dopers." Scraggle tells the dealer that it was once his guitar. The dealer doesn't believe him. He explains some nonsense about how it got a nick on it when he was playing "Happy Birthday" over the phone to his girlfriend. Scraggle admires his old guitar, sighs and puts it down. He walks across the store and picks up an acoustic guitar and asks how much it is. Oh, the symbolism of putting down an old life and starting afresh with a new one -- it's riveting, I tell ya!

J.B. is watching TV in his apartment when Sarah walks in, surprised to find him there. J.B. comments, "Look at those lunatics backed up to Times Square. I'm telling ya, man, there's going to be fatalities." Yeah, beginning with you five. J.B. asks where Sarah's coming from, and she tells him that Archer loaned her his place for the night but she didn't feel like being there alone. J.B. gets all excited and tells her they should go back there. Sarah agrees somewhat reluctantly, "I guess we could, okay, sure. I mean, I never figured it would be you and me at midnight, I always thought it would be --" she looks up at Platypus' window and sighs, "She's home, probably depressed. I should ask her, I'm gonna go --" J.B. interrupts her and tells her that if Platypus goes, he won't. Sarah tells J.B. to get over himself and to meet her at the subway entrance in fifteen minutes.

At the Mound, Platypus answers the door and Sarah accuses her of drinking her champagne. I thought she was going over there to ask Platypus to join them, not hurl accusations. Platypus, acting drunk, laughs at her and says loudly, "I wouldn't drink your lousy champagne if you'd -- if you'd -- I'm sorry I can't think of anything, I've had a lot of sugar. You want it? Fine, take it!" Sarah stomps into the apartment, throws open the fridge, grabs the bottle, and spies Joss, who tells her that she and Platypus are spending the night with Dick Clark. "Which only soundsdepressing, actually, it's inspiring. The man doesn't age." Sarah clicks off the TV amid protests from Platypus and Joss, and says, "We've got forty minutes until midnight, okay? That means we have just enough time to grab a subway and haul ass uptown to an amazing penthouse with a drop-dead view of the fireworks just waiting." Platypus protests that they aren't even speaking to each other, and Joss asks, "Aren't you still mad at me and Maguire?" Sarah answers, "Oh, yeah, absolutely, but I figured that we could resume being angry and disappointed in each other tomorrow. Or, here's another possibility -- if there's any chance at all that this is going to blow over, if there is a chance that we may get past this tomorrow or the day after or the day after that, don't you think it would have been stupid to blow a chance of being together tonight, right now, at the turn of the century?" As the camera pulls back, we see that although Sarah's speech began in her apartment with Platypus and Joss, it has ended with her in Scraggle's apartment. She sighs, "We have two minutes to get to the subway, let's go!" and bolts out the door. Scraggle sits for a half-second and then jumps up, grabs his keys and coat and follows her.

Down in the street, Sarah calls out to Platypus, asking how long before midnight. Platypus screams "thirteen minutes" just as J.B. runs up. "Why is he here?" Platypus demands. Sarah tells her it's a temporary truce as Scraggle and J.B. slap hands. Scraggle tells Sarah they will never make it and Sarah insists that they will. Joss tells her that they can't get into the subway. Sarah says, "Okay, we've gotta be somewhere, right?" She drags them to the bar, which is packed -- they can't even get down the stairs -- so they leave the bar. "Oh, my God, only three minutes before the millennium," Sarah screeches. "Now what we are we going to do?" Platypus demands. J.B. starts to say something, but Platypus interrupts him, telling him it's a terrible idea. "He hasn't even said anything," Scraggle shouts. "Oh, so what? Now you're defending him?" Joss asks. "Maybe we should just go home," Scraggle says. "Maybe you should just go home!" Joss tells him. Sarah sticks her nose in: "Hey, nobody is going home, Joss." "So what, now you want to be the boss of her, too?" Platypus screeches. J.B. starts to ask Platypus what her problem is, but she turns on him saying, "Hey, butt out!" Sarah tries to delivers a little speech about how this was not what anyone wanted and how it is disappointing to be standing in the middle of the street, fighting on the brink of the millennium, "blah, blah, blah!" (Yes, she actually said that, and I really expected her to end with "fishcakes," but that would have given this show some merit, so of course not.) Everyone is rolling their eyes and shaking their heads at Sarah as she goes on to say that their anger and feelings are not permanent -- they are like the tides and the moon, they will change. However, she babbles on, the millennium moment is permanent, and so what if she is not at the "party to end all parties" or watching the sun rise over the international dateline (here she puts on a simpering smile), "But when I look back at this moment, for the rest of my life, where I am right now, I want to be with you (she looks at everybody in turn). Because there are so many people that don't have anybody at all, so when you think about it aren't we just incredibly lucky?" Joss and Platypus smile, and Platypus says, "I don't think so." "That was sappy," Scraggle says. Joss agrees: "Really sappy." "It's not even true," Scraggle says. "You don't believe it, you think we're all pathetic." "Wait, you think we're pathetic?" J.B. asks. "Not you, I was talking about Joss and Maguire," Sarah says. Oh, now she's in the soup. Let the public stoning commence. I think I'll make popcorn to better enjoy this moment.

"You think I'm pathetic?" Joss asks. "Yeah, it was a specific comment," Sarah answers. All at once everyone starts arguing and yelling at one another in slow motion. Suddenly we can hear the countdown in the background, and J.B. shouts, "Guys! Guys!" They stop arguing. "Six, five, four, three, two, one!" Fireworks pop in the distance, glitter and confetti hail down on them, and they are all smiling and jumping and hugging each other in a circle. "Auld Lang Syne" is playing slowly in the background and everything is still in slo-mo. The scene ends with a shot of Sarah looking up at the sky in wonder, in yet another "I'm going to make it after all" type thing.

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