West Wing
The Two Bartlets

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How Now, Butter Cow?

Amy follows Josh into the bedroom and asks if he means it. He says, "No! Of course I'm right, and his relationship with you has everything to do with politics! He's a power dater. That's what power daters do. You know how I know?" I'm afraid he's going to claim to be one, which indeed he does. On what possible basis...? Amy asks, "You know how I know that you're wrong?" Josh: "'Cause you looked in his eyes, saw into his soul, and confronted him in a moment of human honesty?" She says that's right. Josh replies, "Then he was sure to tell you the truth." She says he didn't have to, and then drops the bomb: "He asked me to marry him." Josh, who'd wandered out of the frame, wanders back in looking a bit stunned and finally says, "No..." And she says, "How do you like them apples?" Josh asks if she wants him to talk her out of it. She says that she doesn't, and that she already told Congressman Sprint no, and that she thought they should stop seeing each other for a while. Josh kinds of smiles and says, "Okay." Amy smiles and comments, "Now you're nervous." Which he totally is, but he denies it. She says, "Josh, you and I have spent four nights with each other. I didn't break up with him for you. I'm not Pathetic Stalking Woman who, you know..." Shows up uninvited at people's apartments at 5:00 AM? She struggles for words and comes up with, "...does things." Josh says, as he walks over to her, that they spent six nights together. I wonder how the Josh-and-Donna 'shippers are taking all this. Amy wonders what he's counting; he says he's counting them all. She says it was four. He asks, "He just up and proposed?" She snipes, "Yes, Hamlet, it's called being decisive." Ah, there's the Bard. Sort of. Josh: "No, Ophelia, it's called a political asset." She asks what it matters now. As Josh brushes past her, he says it doesn't.

Amy seems peeved not to be getting more of a response out of this, and asks, "And that's all you're gonna say?" Josh replies, almost smugly, that he'll say more when she calls him from her cell phone in thirty seconds. She puts on her coat and states, "You know, for the most insecure guy I've ever met, you're pretty sure of yourself." Well, that's spot on. She's a few inches from his face now. He persists: "You'll call me from your cell phone. That's where the real conversation always takes place." Amy: "You can't afford pyjamas that fit?" Josh: "It's laundry day." Amy says, "I'll see ya," and walks out, closing the door quietly. Almost instantly the phone rings. Aw, Josh, it's a trap: it's too soon! Don't. Fall. Into. That. TV. Trap! What are the odds it's not POTUS or Leo or some other bigwig calling? But Josh walks right in; almost smirking, he picks up the phone and immediately says, "Time #1 was on the steps in front of my apartment when you kissed me. It was snowing. Time #2 was when you came over after the State of the Union. Time #3 was at your house when you put on your bootleg tape of the Stones at Wembley Stadium and put on your feather boa and sang 'Honky Tonk Woman.'" And no doubt did a mean impersonation of Mick Jagger.

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West Wing




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