The next morning, Jess actually volunteers to make Ryan some breakfast instead of diner pancakes, which I'm now convinced are filled with crack or a similarly addictive substance. He only needs black coffee, though, which he sips while Jess exposits that Ryan stayed the night, but that nothing happened between them. I hope they found something else to do, like playing a game of cards or something, or else they must have had one boring and awkward time together. Jess's phone rings. It's Trey (who will spend this episode entirely off-camera), and Jess informs him that she's with his brother, much to Ryan's obvious dismay. Trey asks to talk to Ryan, and Jess offers him the phone, but Ryan doesn't take it. So Jess tells Trey she'll call him back, and hangs up. She tells Ryan that Trey wants her to move back to Vegas and be with him again, and Ryan says he thought she was trying to change her life. She says she is, but that it's really hard to do when you're all alone in the giant-ass mansion your parents paid for, wherever they are. Ryan does, indeed, ask after their whereabouts, and Jess's answer is that her dad's in Tokyo and her mother is sleeping with her tennis instructor. Like, all day and night, apparently. That guy's got some stamina. And then Jess throws herself at Ryan, who suggests that she give some of her USC friends a call instead, since she goes there when she isn't slumming around in Vegas or lounging by her pool in Newport.
Over at the Cohen House, Sandy takes his head out of his ass long enough to congratulate Seth on the Brown interview he "heard" Seth did so well on. Way to be late with the acknowledgement, there, Dad. And didn't Seth say he was going to tell his parents about the interview right after it happened? Could this be leading up to a thrilling new plotline where we find out that Sandy has an evil identical twin who's been trading places with him occasionally, thus explaining Sandy's new lack of business ethics or interest in his son's life? That would be cool, but I doubt it. Season 7, maybe, although I really doubt this show will last that long. "Looks like the stars are aligning for you!" Sandy says, fully in Cheeseball Dad mode. When Sandy mentions Summer, Seth asks him for some fatherly advice: he wants to know if Sandy and Kirsten ever get bored with each other and the whole monogamy thing, and I don't know what kind of answer Seth is hoping to get here. Does he really want to know if his parents are into swinging? Does he really want to know anything about his parents' sex life? Sandy slyly grins and says that Kirsten "was a firecracker." Seth immediately indicates that he doesn't want to hear any more about this, but he dug his own TMI grave here, and Sandy keeps right on going, talking about how he and Kirsten frequently had sex in the back of his mail truck, to the delight of their college buddies.