Veronica Mars
The Wrath Of Con

Episode Report Card
admin: B | 6 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
You Gogo, Girl

Cut to Wallace telling Veronica, "It's not going to work. You can't take the cool out of me." That's true, in the same sense that I can't take the nutritional value out of a Chips Ahoy cookie. A lot more people want the cookie around, though. Wallace is referring to the fact that Veronica is trying to dress him up like a nerd. The first pair of glasses she puts on him not only look way too fashionable but also look pretty damned expensive, and the second, while very nerdy, are way too big for Wallace's face. The third, however, are just right geeky. Veronica asks about Kyla, and Wallace goes off on some rant about how when guys like girls, they don't talk about it. Veronica asks if he likes Kyla a lot. Wallace: "Yes, I like her a lot. Yes, I go two floors out of my way between classes so I can see her. Yes, I volunteered to reorganize an entire filing system of attendance crap just so I could be in the same room with her." Oh, so that "not talking about it" thing was complete bullshit, Wallace. And here I was, so desperate to believe you. Wallace says AGAIN that no one will buy him as a nerd, but Veronica informs him that she's already called the RA, pretending to be an admissions assistant, and told him that Wallace is a prospective: "But tonight, you lucky boy, I'm all nerd hag." Hee. Just don't fall for one and try to turn him, Veronica. It ends in heartache every time. Wallace says they need to "get this party started," and wow. At least Duncan and Icetwin were being ironic when they used language that stale. Wallace walks out of the room, but Veronica's got another party to attend, as she picks up a photo from Homecoming night the year before...

...and we flash back to the limo, where the kids are drinking champagne and playing Truth or Dare. Oh, man. I mean, I've played this game many times, I admit. But you could add up the net worths of all these kids' families and it still wouldn't be enough to get me to play with my sister. There are certain things you just don't want to know. Anyway, it's Lilly's turn, and she picks Logan, who opts for Truth. Lilly asks him what he thought of Veronica the first time he saw her, and he mumbles that he thought she was hot. Veronica's shocked, since she was only twelve, and he saw her in her soccer uniform. Hmm, what do you see on a soccer field? There's grass, in the field, and there's a ball, right? (Was that oblique enough not to get me fired? ["Huh? What? I'm sure I don't know what you are talking about." -- Wing Chun]) Logan shoots it back to Lilly, who picks Dare. Duncan: "Shocker." Everyone watching at home: "Jinx!" Logan dares Lilly to kiss someone in the car. Duncan rolls his eyes. Lilly kittens her way over to Logan's lap. He opens wider than he does for the dentist, but Lilly, after getting a nice view of his tonsils, switches teams at the last minute and lays one on Veronica, although we don't really see anything. But patience is a virtue when awaiting same-sex action. Usually. Logan guffaws and Duncan cringes, while Veronica is a good sport about the whole thing. Anyway, Duncan, unlike Logan, doesn't consider this a masturbatory fantasy, so he decides to hose everyone down with champagne. Logan complains that Duncan's ruining his dad's tux. Which he no doubt bought when he became a partner in McKenzie-Brackman. Apparently, the limo has stopped at the beach, because Logan chases Duncan out onto the sand and tackles him, and the two wrestle. Hmm. I don't usually take this much sand in my homoeroticism. In keeping with the scene, however, it's good to try new things. Veronica smilingly notes that their boyfriends are "all class," as Lilly pats her hand and nods agreement. Hee.

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Veronica Mars

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