The Good Wife
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

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admin: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
I Am Not The Cheese

The thing about being all about ethnic ladies is that if you accrue a certain number of them at once, they will outnumber you and gang up on you. And if you're Cary, if you're so used to being on top that you don't even know there's more to the world than the part of which you are yourself aware, well, that can be a scary moment. Maybe some people join the Tea Party when they feel like that is happening. Cary, I imagine, will just try to sleep with all of them. A much more sensible plan if you ask me.


Ventura: "Actually there were no delays that day. That whole defense is bunk."
L/G: "Objection! The prosecution didn't get there by questioning, essentially."
Kuhn: "Overruled, because fuck you."
Prosecution: "So we don't know why she ignored the order, and you were stunned when you sat there and saw yourself murder a bunch of people. Okay, thank you for your testimony. And you know what? Thanks for your service to this country."
Jury: Nodding. Juries are stupid no matter the jurisdiction. Use it. Be smart.
L/G: "Hey, can we recess? That was our whole def..."
Kuhn: "Nope, because fuck you also again."

Alicia: "Um, okay. Ventura, do people ever die in war?"
Ventura: "I don't recall."
Alicia: "Collateral damage happens sometimes maybe?"
Ventura: "Maybe. I wouldn't know about that."
Alicia: "In fact you cause unintentional or accidental civilian deaths so often that y'all refer to them as 'Squirters'?"
The Armed Forces: "No, that would be tacky!"

Alicia: "My bad. How about the eight squirters the week before this incident?"
Ventura: "There were nine, actually."
Alicia: "My bad, again."
Everybody, secretly: "Good one."
Alicia: "And how many prosecutions and arrests have resulted from any of these civilian deaths?"


Alicia: "So we're calling your little van in Nevada the battlefield, because you're at war even if your body isn't in trouble of being also killed."
Jury: (This is true of everybody in this room, so paradoxically they don't take offense because that's like the very first thought you have to think.)

Alicia: "And that means that Elkins was on the battlefield in Afghanistan, meaning that this is a prosecution of a soldier who accidentally killed a civilian on the battlefield, right?"
Prosecution: "Objection! Tacky! Messy!"
Kuhn: "Word."
Alicia: "That's okay. I think the jury understands."
Kuhn: "Mrs. Florrick! Tacky!"
Alicia: "Neener. No further questions."

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The Good Wife




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