X-Files

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Doggett and Moronica wander into the living room and look around. "Where'd he go?" Doggett wonders. Moronica doesn't know (because she never has "feelings" when, you know, it's convenient. Like, remember the episode in which we were introduced to Moronica, and she was all "I have a feeling Mulder isn't dead," and he wasn't (exactly)? And now, does she have any feelings about Crispy and who or where he is? No). Doggett sees that the front door is open, and takes off running. "[Moronica], stay with Scully!" he yells as he goes.

Doggett runs out into the street and looks around frantically. Finally, he finds Crispy running down the street, and chases him into the alley. Drums. Running. Drums. Running. Drums. Running. Drums. Finally, Doggett races into an alley and comes to a halt. He looks around, dejected. We cut to a shot of Crispy's hand removing something from behind a brick, and then, the next thing you know, Crispy is awkwardly stumbling out from behind a Dumpster. He allows Doggett to tackle him. "No more running," Doggett says rather kindly. "We're going to protect you now. Besides, you should be happy we didn't bury you alive this time, don't you think? Hey, did I tell you that I died and then got vomited up alive? I did? Oh. Well, it's still an interesting story, don't you think? So, a lot has happened while you were at the store. Those three dorky guys got killed by this guy who used to be on Judging Amy, Scully grew her hair out, and Skinner and I broke up, but we got back together." Okay, not really. I think that even Doggett isn't entirely sure that Crispy is Mulder, because otherwise why aren't they, like, hugging him and shit, prosthetic nose and all?

Scully's, where Moronica has given Crispy a sleeping pill. He obediently takes it. Moronica tells him that they'll talk after he takes a little nap. Scully awkwardly stands in the doorway and wonders how she's supposed to react to all of this. She and Doggett and Moronica leave the room. Crispy rolls over and pretends to sleep.

Scully collapses on the living-room sofa. "So, what now?" she asks. Moronica sits next to her and shoots her a questioning look. "What do you want to do?" Scully clarifies. "Keep it a secret, for starters," Doggett offers. Scully mutters that that won't be hard: "No one's ever going to believe that that's Mulder." Moronica makes a good point, saying that the people who hideously scarred him certainly will. "If he's so afraid, then why did he run?" Scully asks, plaintively. "You still don't believe it's him," Doggett states. Scully makes a thoughtful face. "You know a person in so many ways," she muses. "Ways that a test can't even begin to know." Doggett looks at her sympathetically and offers to run the DNA again, but reminds her that it's a real long shot. "It came up a perfect match," he says. Moronica stares off into the distance. "You ask why he'd run. Think about how hard this must be for him, the way he looks," she says. Scully sighs. "If that was Mulder, I wouldn't care," she says. "But he cares," Doggett says. "He has to." He takes the third seat on the sofa. "Maybe he's ashamed." Scully looks over at him. "Of what?" she asks. "Not just the way he looks," Doggett explains. "But you let him go to protect him, only he couldn't protect himself." Scully thinks about this. "Do you believe that?" she asks. Doggett heaves a giant sigh. "I don't know," he finally admits. All three of them stare into the distance. "We'll have a better sense when he wakes up," Doggett says. Moronica leans back and right into his hand. He ruffles her hair.

In the bedroom, Crispy rolls over and takes the pill out of his mouth.

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X-Files

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