Weeds

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This Day By the Lake
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

It's six months later in Esteban's beautiful house, and Nancy's huge in the shower while he reads What Not to Name Your Baby. He is particularly put off by "Percy," and by "Humphrey"; Nancy agrees that the romance of noir would be somewhat lessened were we to change every "Bogey & Bacall" to "Humphrey & Lauren." The romance of noir being, of course, such a valuable commodity.

Nancy sits down with him, in her robe, and modestly he produces a ring box, black velvet: "I've decided that we will get married," he says, and continues to flip through the book. She stares at the box, at him, and tries to fit this moment into the romance she's spent six months trying to construct around the simple fact that this child is the only thing keeping her safe and alive.

"That is a prized family heirloom," he says, noting her lack of enthusiasm. "Reyes means Kings," he explains, noting that Botwin doesn't seem to have a similarly grand etymology. AWESOMELY, "Botwin" is an Ashkenazi occupational name meaning greengrocer, somebody who sells leaves. Drop Botwin for Reyes and leave behind the greengrocer trade forever. She tries to explain in a way that isn't insulting that this proposal, in all its modesty, is not really how she "pictured this going down." Like most sentences these days, she ends it with a question mark; it doesn't help. He stands and leaves her there in the bathroom, and alone, she cracks the box: it's hideous, as big as a baby's fist, with a giant purple stone.

In the bedroom, he's naked on the bed and she laughs at him, realizing this was one of his jokes as he asks if she liked the ring. "Oh, it's hideous," she assures him, happy for a moment. He tells her it's the champion ring of a soccer team he owns, and she shrugs "That's a pretty good burn, Patrice"). They curl up in the bed together and she asks if he was serious. He laughs, and whispers yes, and parts her robe, caressing her belly, leaving a prettier ring behind. "Where was that?" she giggles. Don't ask.

"We're not children anymore, Nancy. We're not playing house. I ask that you give yourself to me." She smiles; she likes that. Complete abdication. "To be mine, forever. Mrs. Esteban Reyes." She asks if that would make him "Mr. Nancy Botwin," and he assures her it would not, so she jokingly says no before saying yes. They kiss, tenderly, and he puts the ring upon her finger.

That awful cop of Silas's wants to do some drugs, but Silas is being a good little Gallant (CP the Cop calls him "Boy Scout") and telling him they can't use up all the product. He takes it for himself, even as Silas is protesting that he and Blitt -- about whom, at this point, less said the better -- need to take inventory of what stock they've got left. CP says he's hurt, but he understands if Silas doesn't want to "get faded" with him right now, and walks away, then turns back like he just thought of something. "What really hurts," he explains, is how they've been light on their monthly payments a few times. He gets threatening, pulling a gun, but when he calls Silas a bitch-ass bitch you remember he'll be fine: he's his mother's son. Something will come up.

In the book of names, Shane learns, his name means "a feeling of guilt." He asks if he was an accident and Nancy says she can't remember, she was hammered. I don't know if she's kidding, she's in a really weird, scary mood. Like she says if he was allowed to pick his own name, at three he would have ended up Count Chocula Botwin, and they laugh, but then her eyes get wide and Adderally and she's all look at my riiing and he says he already talked to Esteban about it, which seems to tick her off. Or maybe it's the guzzling coffee and speaking in half-Spanish that's bugging her.

As for the coffee, he says that's an Ignacio thing -- puts hair on your chest -- and she actually gets kind of mad and gives him this pissy face about how spinach doesn't give you instant muscles and an anchor tattoo, and then won't even look up when Ignacio comes in. What do you think, is Ignacio's resemblance to Judah an actual plotpoint, or only in my head? I don't know. Ignacio congratulates her on the engagement and she spits fire, right up until Shane tells her that Andy's the only one who still doesn't know. Yikes.

Shane's all trying to learn bullshitty Celia Hodes bastard Spanish for summer school, like, "I would like to buy a Fresca with this credit card," and Ignacio is not feeling that, so first he tells him how to say, "Pay up, motherfucker, or I will crack your head open with an icepick," and then they decide to skive off, with a requisite "We don't need no stinkin' X," in this case X being equal to school. Everything Ignacio does, Shane finds charming. Me too! That's so weird.

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