Oscar Oscar

by admin February 22, 2009
Academy Awards 2009: Liveblog 10:08 -- Heath Ledger won -- shock! Oh no, his parents and sister are accepting. I'm already crying. I can't believe how flippant I just was about this whole thing! Except I can, because, you know. Anyway, this is really sad. Get ready. Adrian Brody looks quite moved. As does Melissa Leo, except I actually mean it -- she seems to be crying. Have they ever worked together? I don't believe so. Wow, now Anne Hathaway and Angelina are crying! This is sad.

10:11 -- Dry your tears -- it's a Werner Herzog clip package! He is speaking of Encounters at the End of the World, and someone named Scott Hamilton Something is speaking, and I'm sure he did a fantastic job working on the film, but I can't get over how he had to add something to the end of his name so he wouldn't get in trouble with a figure skater.

10:13 -- Bill Maher is on stage now, lamenting having to follow the Heath Ledger sadness and touting the merits of documentaries and complaining about people who believe in god, because that's appropriate. Anyway, the point is we should all see more documentaries. Let's make a day of it! Man on Wire won, which is no surprise. That movie kind of makes me want to vomit though. As Neely O'Hara would say, "It's my nerves!"

10:16 -- Wow, the Man on Wire tightrope walker just balanced his Oscar on his chin like a damn seal. He's more talented than I thought.

10:17 -- Apparently there is a second documentary category, but I've never heard of any of these, so whatever but good for them. I'm sure all these amazing films would change my life if I sat down to watch them, but I'm so never doing that. Anyway, the winner has a lovely red dress on. Yay for her and her lovely red dress and Oscar win. She is brief and we've been promised Will Smith after the commercial! How'd we get so lucky?!

10:22 -- Haha, this Jimmy Kimmel promo with Tom Cruise made me laugh. Fire! Cats! Delightful.

10:23 -- Action montage! This is so exciting! Except remember how The Dark Knight wasn't nominated because it's apparently low-brow? Go to hell, Oscar action movie montage. It did contain The Statham though, so I guess I should just quit my bitching and enjoy the ridiculous Indiana Jones jungle are-you-kidding-me-with-this-George-Lucas? car chase.

10:25 -- I've been asked to welcome Will Smith, so I suppose I'll oblige. He loves action movies. Stars -- they're just like us! He's talking about how sometimes action movies don't get the respect they deserve and I'm like REMEMBER THE DARK KNIGHT, YOU PRETENTIOUS BASTARDS? Anyway, it's a Visual Effects Oscar, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button won, and while I hated that movie I must admit the effects were very impressive. I wish I could make an old man baby for a living. My life is such a farce.

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