Academy Awards 2010

10:09 - When a Costume Designer wins her third Oscar, is it still called a hat trick?

10:12 - "Hello, I'm Charlize Theron, and I was once in a movie as depressing as Precious."

10:18 - Decent Paranormal Activity parody by Steve and Alec. Also, that shambling Kristen Stewart homunculus is so realistic! (Cough.)

10:21 - That's two clips tonight that showcase a very young Alec Baldwin!

10:23 - Hollywood Rule #1: When you need a narrator, Morgan Freeman always has right of first refusal.

10:25 - Hurt Locker gets Best Sound Editing and Best Sound Mixing? That's three for them. They're building momentum!

10:28 - And also, the nerd Oscars happened. Moving on!

10:36 - "Mishigas"? Who knew Sandy Bullock was down with the old country Yiddish. Probably learned it from George Lopez.

10:37 - Oh no, the death montage. As we all know, everyone died this year. Get ready to cry.

10:38 - They should've kept going with the instrumental "Unchained Melody" instead.

10:41 - That was like two seconds long. How is that possible? 194,838,474 show business legends died last year! Including Farrah Fawcett, who was missing from the montage. Why the Cannonball Run hate, Oscars?

10:42 - Will this year's Oscar telecast be included in next year's In Memoriam? 'Cause this thing's flatlined, and so has the audience at the Kodak.

10:43 - ABC has this scheduled to be over at 11:30. Very funny, guys.

10:47 - Slow down, dancers! We can't tell which ones of you were on So You Think You Can Dance when you're all flailing about like that!

10:51 - Ahh, good to see Kayla's being as needlessly fawned over on this show as she was on SYTYCD. Well, maybe good isn't the word. Fucking incomprehensible? Can we use those two words?

10:54 - Best Visual Effects was of course going to Avatar, but we would have watched a movie where a bunch of guys in silver spandex jumpsuits were evicted from their ghetto near Johannesburg.

10:57 - That Up in the Air clip package didn't have nearly enough Sam Elliott.

11:01 - Matt Damon may be the first Oscar-winning screenwriter to becomes an action star, but not the first nominated writer to do so. That honor goes to Sylvester Stallone, of course.

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