10:52 - Oh no. Celine Dion is singing "Smile." We can feel a death montage in the air.
10:54 - Nice that they didn't let us her people clapping for the more recognizable dead people like they do at the Globes. We've always thought that was an extremely strange thing to do. Especially since at least one of these people was murdered. (And no Corey Haim? Poor Lucas can't catch a break.)
10:56 - Halle Berry is here giving a special tribute to Lena Horne's trailblazing. Of course she's right, but isn't it a little bit icky when one dead person takes precedence over all the other ones at these things? Or is it just us.
11:00 - Are we thanking presenters for doing a good job now?
11:01 - Thank you, Hilary Swank, for introducing Kathryn Bigelow as a "woman" director. We're sure she really appreciates it.
11:02 - WHAAAAAAAAT. Tom Hooper just won Best Director for The King's Speech. And apparently, his mom brought him the idea to make the film. Listen to your moms, young people. You're all still watching, right? Guess this means David Fincher will win a sympathy Oscar for his Girl With a Dragon Tatto next year.
11:10 - We envy the placid serenity of James Franco. Not sure what dimension his mind is in right now, but we sure know it's not ours.
11:11 - Glad they got rid of the five-presenter thing. One Jeff Bridges is all you need. Wouldn't it be awesome if Bridges somehow beat out Colin Firth this year? Again? Sigh.
11:13 - Jennifer Lawrence can't believe the clip they used, of her beaten and bloodied. Ever notice the Best Actress clips are never of someone doing a pratfall over a dessert cart? And like Jeff Bridges, we too can't wait to see her career unfold... in one X-Men movie after another.
11:16 - Natalie Portman, of course. "He picked me, mommy! Jeff Bridges picked me!"
11:18 - Portman just thanked Michelle Rodriguez. We're pretty sure it's a different Michelle Rodriguez, but wouldn't it be awesome if they hung out? And she was the baby's godmother?
11:19 - Oh, we're already drinking at home, Hathaway. This whole show is a flub.
11: 21 - Sandra Bullock is hitting all of the easy joke buttons presenting the Best Actor noms: telling Javier Bardem "Ola," calling Jeff Bridges "Dude," asking Eisenberg to accept her friend request...
11:25 - Colin Firth, of course. Revenge, Bridges!
11:26 - You know, we always thought Firth was playing a character when, in movies, he spoke in long, halting sentences to explain emotions with which he was not entirely comfortable. But after S number of awards ceremonies, it's clear that's just how he is. Or it's a character he plays in life.