8:46: "This is for Italy," sayeth one of the two winners. Sayeth my wife: "We will melt it down and use it for currency because we are broke."
8:48: By the way, if you need a handy way to keep track of the night's winners, check out our handy list right here.
8:51: Bret McKenzie sighting! We look forward to seeing him front and center on stage later.
8:52: Time for another timeless Oscar tradition... the montage of random film clips. So far, two Tom Hanks movies have been included. Favoritism much?
8:53: So far the theme of this montage seems to be "Movies... yay!" Which we agree with and all, but not sure it's montage-worthy. And it ends with When Harry Met Sally. Crystal really is trying to remind us that he's available for work, huh?
8:54: And the night's first nipslip goes to... Jennifer Lopez! That's the closest she'll ever get to Oscar glory.
8:55: Also, is it just us, or does Cameron Diaz look like Dianna Agron's older sister? Or, considering how old Agron is looking on Glee lately, her younger sister?
8:55: And The Artist makes its mark on the night with a win for Best Costume Design.
8:56: J. Lo still can't get that nipslip under control. Not that anyone in the audience seems to be complaining.
8:57: Will the Academy award Harry Potter for once? It's not like Best Makeup equals Best Picture or anything.
8:58: Nope, the boy wizard is denied again for The Iron Lady instead. Clearly the Potter franchise should have had a Margaret Thatcher cameo.
9:00: Adam Sandler, Brad Pitt and all these other actors are here to tell you that moviegoing is fun! And you know it is, because none of them are smiling.
9:06: Sandra Bullock shows up to hand out the Best Foreign Language Oscar. Kinda early in the night for this, no? High marks on her German fluency, though.
9:06: No surprises here... thankfully. A Separation wins a well-deserved statue. Good speech, too.
9:09: Hey, remember that time Christian Bale had a snit fit on the set of Terminator: Salvation? Billy Crystal totally does. Somebody just showed it to him backstage on YouTube.
9:10: Kinda wish Bale was introducing the Best Supporting Actress nominees in his Batman voice. And then challenge the winner to a growl-off before they can claim their statue.