9:12: Octavia Spencer completes her road to Oscar with an Oscar. For her sake, let's hope this means she never has to do a Tyler Perry movie.
9:14: Not her smoothest speech, but the sentiment was clearly there. Congrats to her -- wish the movie were better.
9:18: Uh oh, test screenings? We're getting into the nitty gritty of the Hollywood process here, folks. As my wife says, "This is either going to be amazing footage or a horrible joke." Her sister: "I'm going with horrible joke."
9:20: Oh look, it's Eugene Levy and the rest of Christopher Guest's regular crew! Makes us want to watch Waiting for Guffman again. But not Guest's actual Oscar movie For Your Consideration. That shit was terrible. Like this, so far.
9:21: This would be awesome if Guest, McKean and Shearer were doing this as The Folksmen. Sure it wouldn't be period appropriate, but much funnier.
9:22: Catherine O'Hara and Fred Willard are legitimately awesome, though.
9:22: Man, Crystal really is desperate for approval. "I made a short movie, too. So there, Christopher Guest!"
9:23: Is Bradley Cooper acting in a Tina Fey-scripted comedy? 'Cause that mustache is a joke. [/rimshot]
9:23: In fairness, I have to credit my wife with that one. She came up with it during Cooper's red carpet appearance and it was too good not to use somewhere.
9:24: Film Editing goes to The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, the second David Fincher film to win this award in a row after last year's Social Network victory.
9:25: Sounded Editing next, the only category where Drive was nominated. We know... we can't believe it either.
9:26: Hugo adds another statue to its shelf. Better luck in Transformers 4, Optimus Prime.
9:28: Sound Effects Mixing up next. We're thinking a Hugo repeat.
9:28: And we weren't wrong! Optimus must be crying girly robot tears in Michael Bay's bachelor pad.
9:29: So that's four out of 11 awards for Hugo. That number is going to significantly taper off once we're out of the technical categories.
9:34: Kermit and Miss Piggy! It's about time. Though we still can't adjust ourselves to Kermit's new voice.
9:35: Wait, Kermit and Piggy were brought on just to introduce Cirque du Soleil? That's just mean. It's because of this whole Cirque show that we're not getting a Muppet musical performance, after all.